Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

First and foremost, my love life is not remotely interesting. Simply I have been engulf in a see of prospect than turns into to f**k boys. I am no good when it comes to relationships. Frankly, being single sucks at time. I really feel this way when the romantic season approaches.  Valentines is next week.  I already know my timeline is going to jumping, fill of relationship goals hash-tagging , and gifts. Everybody acting really happy on this commercial holiday.  Sometimes, you can’t help but dread being single.  Man, they all make it look so good to be in a relationship. I am saying to myself, “really I want that”.  To be honest, I am starting feel like I will never find that special guy.

Let me keep it all the way 100: I really want to be in relationship with a guy that really cares about me and I care about him. But it is so hard to date now. Man, some of  y’all dudes have been giving me gas! Lol I over it and I am not settling anymore.  Since I have been single I have learned tons of things. What I want and need.  Self love. Knowing what I will not accept. In this post we are going to explore how being single really helped me learn a lot about myself. Hopefully this post can helps us change our perspective on being single.

1. Just because it does not work out with someone, does not mean you are a bad person. I have a lot of fall attempts when in comes to being in relationship. They use to leave me asking “what wrong with me”. I had one guy that I was super interested in and it seem like I was always chasing him. I could never get a hold of him. I was wondering if it was something wrong me.  Did I do something wrong? Of course my anxiety was speaking to me loudly saying you should have done this or said less of this. I learn over the course of being single that it is nothing wrong me and I had nothing to do with the reason why he went away. I am just enough. I do not need to do more or less. Any guy that wants me will want to continue to get to know me
2. No means no! I learn to stand up for myself finally especially to guys.  I know exactly what will not stand.  I finally have set some standard in place
3. Girlfriends are life savers. Being single you learn that having a good friends in your corner keep you from doing stupid things. I learn so much more about myself when I have discussion with my closest girlfriends. I think I will be a better person for that special someone when the time is right.
4. Online dating sucks. This is no shade to anyone that enjoy online dating, or who have found their partner online. My experience with it has suck eggs. I felt like everyone on there, that are interested in me, only wants to hook up. Then people lost interest so fast. I rather meet people in person.
5. Self Discovery- I know what I want.  I have a lot more time to learn myself and work on myself. What I am passionate about?  What I want I want and need? What I wont accept? I value myself so much more, and the way I treat myself will show the my next guy how to treat me
6. Don’t keep people around just because your lonely- No settling.  I have settle in some trash ass relationship just to spare myself from being lonely. In my opinion, this is when I made some terrible mistakes. Don’t let loneliness cloud your judgement.  Please do not make the mistake for settling for someone that you know deep down they are not right for you. I gave myself time to work on self for that right person.
7. I suck at communication. I am not good at communication. I blame it on my anxiety. Over thinking and not asking enough questions. Over the time of being single I learned that I need to get better at communication my thoughts.
8. I am sexy. I don’t not need a man’s validation. When I was younger, the only way I felt beautiful was from a guy telling me I was pretty. Even then it was half ass. Your pretty for a dark skin girl  or pretty for a big girl… WHAT !? The only validation I need is my own. I learned to love & appreciate myself more while being single.
9. My life does not begin when I find the right person. My life is great right now, it does not start when a man enter it. My life is full for fun, creativity, and great friends and family fill it up. God made me special all on my own. My life will still continue with our without a man present in it.
10. Maintaining a Relationship is hard. Social media can really trick you out here. Everyone relationship on line looks so good, they only show you want they want you to see. Behind the mask it is hard work and it not always peaches and cream. Being on my own is way easier than being a relationship.

Special Thanks to  Nicole & Daniela Photography!  They always come through for me!

IG: @nicole_daniela_studio | Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com

With that being said, being single is not all that bad. Stay tuned. We are going to dive in deeper on the next post in “Single Life Series”.

What are you thoughts on being single ? What have your learn as a single person?

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