We don’t have time for fear….. Confront it 

We don’t have time for fear….. Confront it 

SIS we don’t have time for fear…..  It really time to Confront it!!!

Michelle Obama said so gracefully at the Worldwide Developers Conference 2017… “ If we let [fear] consume us, then we don’t move. If we allow fear to define one another, then we go down a very dark path. But [fear is] there. It’s an emotion that we all feel, it just can’t consume you.

Image result for MICHELLE OBAMA GIF

I really grasp, just yesterday, how fear really stifles me. I believe that I have a bunch of talent that I have not use because I let fear and doubt plague me. So how do I deal with fear ?

Let me tell yall my story. So yesterday, I faced my fear head on.  I was ask to speak to college girls at my alma mater, Oakland University about spicing up your wardrobe, and fashion on a budget. OMG I was happy and filled with panic at the same time. My first speaking engagement as a blogger. I almost said no because immediately I started to doubt myself. I though I did not have what it takes to speak in front of people. What was I going to say? What am I going to wear? I really hope they like me ….. oh lord the anxiety is settling again, oh no panic attack. CALM DOWN !!! That what is screaming all in my head. LORD THE STRUGGLE. I have a fear of not being liked by people. That people pleaser nature always strike. I’ve been like that since I was little girl. I don’t like rejection. Plus public speaking is super intimidating to me lol. Now I have spoke in front of people in class setting, but who says they are listening.

Image result for PANIC ATTACK GIF

I started to say no but something told me deep down to do it. I talked to my sister and she told think of great opportunities that this can lead to. You know more then you give yourself credit for. So I change my tone. I said of course I will do! With all that being said you have to get outside the box, get out of your comfort zone. I challenge myself to do something out the norm. So I put my outfit together, wrote out some tips.  Let the speaking begin ! I made sure while I speaking to make sure my true self radiate with the audience. I wanted to girls to understand that I was there in their shoes, and I know my shit.  With that being said I started talking.  Next thing I know I was getting more and more comfortable talking I have few minors error but I felt very confident correcting myself. GIRL I faced a fear! YES ! …  I ask a few of my peer that came and supported the event how did I do . They told me I did well and that I didn’t seem nervous .  SO HAPPY !

PEEP THE PICTURE ABOVE: EVERYBODY WAS HAPPY. i received a lot of great feedback so I think public speaking is for me.

When you think about fear it really small thing. I know at the  time it seem so big but after you confront it think about its really nothing. Fear is small. So I am going to challenge myself as blogger to do more thing that make me uncomfortable! More speaking engagement!

HOW TO CONFRONT FEAR?

  • Understand and reflect your fear? So ask yourself what are you really afraid of? Get to know yourself !
  • Accept the fear. Hello My name is Alayna and I am afraid of rejection lol
  • Visualize how your life would be without fear: I would be a kick as girl
  • ACTION !! Take some action but in healthy way. Prepare and don’t do everything all at once.
  • Surround yourself with good friends that can help you deal with your fears.

All I really want say in how to face your fears is to confront them head on no matter what.  Be clear with who you are as a person and value. You do not want to be filled with regret so put yourself out there. Whatever it is you want to do just go for it. So I challenge you to face your fears today !  What is your fear ? How are you going to confront that fear? Let me know in the comments.

Image result for black girl magic gif

Thank you so much for reading !

believe in yours. push forward.

Alayna

 

**gif images: Giphy.com

 

Struggling Blogger Chronicles #2

Baby Steps Are Good Steps

fullsizeoutput_1781

Baby Steps: Small/ realistic/ attainable goal

Yes I am back with another struggle blogger chronicle. This something that I really struggle with . Today I am taking about baby steps. No not the steps that your baby took. I am talking about the the small goals. The goals that are easy to meet.  Life really can have you in a rat race all the time. You feel you always have to be moving fast, or reach for big goal. Have you ever thought to yourself that a goal can’t be met because you haven’t taken the necessary baby steps to make it to the big goal. What I am saying you can not go from 0 to 1000 in one day. Yes millennials we have seen so many of our counterparts becoming over night success. Question is are they really overnight success? Did you see all the work they had to put in to get to the big goal ? Think about that question for a minute. Yes you only seen the glow up right. I have to think about this all the time as a blogger.  Why do we want everything now ?

As a blogger, I am telling you it is okay to make baby steps as a blogger. The next time you get caught up or discourage as a blogger just keep focus on the step that is in front of you.  Yes the big goal for me or for you is to be successful blogger. Think about the big goal for second. When I think about it somewhat overwhelming. I am really ready for all the hard work that come with running a successful blog. Yes in hind sight it looks so good but do you really understand the hard work behind it all. Exactly.. SO my baby steps goals set me up for my ultimate goal. Honestly I love blogging so much and it something I think about every minute of the day. I do not what to give up on my blog.

So this is how you do it .. you have to set realistic goals (baby steps). Goals that can be easy met to set you in the right direction.  For example, My realistic goal is is take a least an 1 hour day to improve my blog, or plan a post.  Another example, I will wakeup 1 hour early to plan a post for Instagram each day.

Yes set up goals that you can meet

Baby Steps still move you forward

So be patience and trust the process. You are taking all the steps in the right direction.

push forward.

Alayna

XOXO

 

 

 

 

Struggling Blogger Chronicles #1

Building Relationships

Hey y’all,

So I have been blogging for quite some time now. Honestly I have not pick up as much traffic as I would like however I’m gonna keep going. The more I keep learning the more I will progress as a blogger. So y’all bare with me I am learning as I go. I wanted to start this blogger chronicle space that I talk about all the things I learn as a blogger. I love to share what I learn. Recently I went to

untitled(618of1014)
Leah (Beauty and the Muse) & Myself. We became blogger friend after we collaborated together. Photo by @RichelleMariePhoto

the Dream Big Curvy Girl Conference in Chicago (Sidenote: If you want to read about click here) and learn about the importance of building a relationship as a blogger. It very important when you are trying to grow your blogger.

 


Importance of Building Relationship as a Blogger!

You are not alone in your  blogging niche. So make friends get to know others bloggers. You can definitely learn something from other bloggers. Do’s and dont’s to blogging.It is important to build relationships with others bloggers because you never have to worry about not feeling inspired. Lastly they have you back and you have theirs. So be genuine ! No one wants a fake friend looking for hand out.

So how do you make blogger friends, blogger boos, or whatever you call a friend that is a blogger?

Start talking: Learn when to join the conversation. Don’t be scared they are just people just start talking.

Learn a little bit about them: Do little research on them before you reach out. “A bit of a stalker” Just a little bit. In addition don’t limit it to one blogger. Find a few bloggers that are similar to your niche and read up on their blog. You an definitely learn some things. I also go out my way to comment too :). This leads me to my next point

Show some love: We all in this creative space together show a little low. Comment, like, follow, share. I scratch your back and scratch mine. We have to do for one another. Once bloggers see that you care, hey you maybe can be a guest bloggers on their page. Or whatever. Good exposure always help and form a health blog. You have to actively engage with them. Show genuine interest. You do this they will return the favor.

Send a email or “dm”them: Simple as that

Meet and Greet: Sit down and have some coffee or tea and just talk. Get to know one another. Talk too that person like they are your new bestfriend. That gives you a chance to really get to know the person. Read them it helps.

Be genuine and consistent 

Attend conferences 

See if you can help them! You might be able to help them so ask if they need some assistance. We all need some help sometimes.

I hope this helps someone. I’m hoping this helps me because I am currently apply all that I learn.

Alayna

XOXO