Single Life Series: Love Letter to Self

Single Life Series: Love Letter to Self

(Simply take my name and put yours!!)

I’m going to keep this post very simple and straight to the point. Love yourself. I really use to dread Valentine’s Day. Nobody special to share it with. Look at all the gifts on the timeline. I have learn over time that I don’t have to be bitter. I can celebrate too. What I take from Valentine’s Day is love. Not love for a lover or a significant other. Simply love for myself. I love me and everything that makes me … me! I have stated countless time before you can’t expect to love someone else when you don’t love yourself. It’s the truth sis ! It not easy. I have bad days, but I don’t let my bad days define Alayna ! So don’t speak down on you.  Love you and everything that makes you…you! Had to say it a second time. So slay the day hun ! Love on yourself . Hug yourself . Tell yourself your beautiful! Know who you are! Change the narrative on yourself ! Speak kind words to yourself! Shower yourself with Valentines today and everyday because you are a gem that can’t be replace.

Alayna-11

be enough for self first, the rest of the world can wait 

-fw

Alayna-31

Photographer: Malaika Hilson | IG: @malaikahilson

Location: Riverside Park- Detroit River


How Are You Going to Love Yourself Better?

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

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cassandra

Single Life Series: 6 Things You Need To Know, If You Don’t Like Being Single

Single Life Series: 6 Things You Need To Know, If You Don’t Like Being Single

How did we get here? How did being single person turn inside outside.  I am trying to figure it out. Our society put so much emphasis on being in relationship, and finding that special person. It know it has a single person, like myself, dreading it. Some days I day dream being a happy, healthy relationship with a man. Then I come back to reality and I wonder what is going on, why is it taking me so long to find that person. Am I unlovable?

Single Life = Negative opinions and thoughts on the single life. How can we change the narrative of being single?  So I started searching and results I found on being single was compelling. Here are six ways that can turn your unhappy thoughts on being single to hopeful, and positive thoughts.

  1. Your circumstances will change. I have been single since my senior year of high school. That mean I have been single for 11 years. Real facts! So understand this, it is going to happen for us. We are going to meet that special someone. You need to remain positive and get out of your own head and way and let the universe work.
  2. Your worthy so keep your standards high. Please people keep your standards high when your single, or whenever. Now I am not saying to keep them so high no one can reach them. One thing that I learn as a single person is that you can not let your loneliness cloud your judgement. So many people date and settle for the wrong people because they are lonely. I’ve done it. So you have to ask yourself why do you hate being alone? Once you figure that out your mindset should start to shift. You will start saying to yourself they are stupid if they don’t want to be around me. Don’t chase anyone. Remember you are the sh*t and anyone that wants to be around you will. So DO NOT settle for anything just because you are afraid of being alone.
  3. Time to get to know & work on yourself. While your single you are given time to get to know yourself. I built a blog, and have tons of things with my life. So now I do not have time to cry over spilled milk. I have respect, love, and value for myself while being single. I ultimatly think this time that GOD has given to me to get loser with myself and make me right for the special someone that he is taking time to make for me. If you are single this is not a time to draw away from yourself, it is time to get closer and self discovery.
  4. Understand that patiences is key. Remember I told you, I have been single for 11 years. Small bumps on the road but hey, I don’t claim them because they only last for 2 months or less. Getting to that right person take a while, but understand that Beyonce was not successful star over night. She worked for year and took time to perfect her craft. So that special person, it make themselves right just for you… they don’t know that. Be patient… that special person will come soon.
  5. Love yourself the way you want your partner to treat you. Self love people! How do you expect someone to love you if you can’t love yourself. Treat yourself kind and with respect first. Be that model so your partner will know. Self love is key, I can’t stress that enough.
  6. Enjoy your own company. Learn to enjoy being around yourself. This was something I really had to work on getting comfortable. For a long time I hate being by myself.

Single Tip…
STOP thinking YOU are unlovable and you’ll never will be married. Here’s the TRUTH about YOU! YOU are SO amazing it took extra time to create your mate. Relax! Trust God’s timing! He hasn’t forgotten you. He just wasn’t ready to share you yet !

Feature Photo: Photographer: Richelle Marie Photography  IG: @richellemariephoto


So, how are you feeling about being single? 

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog.  I hope this blog post can help you change your mindset and find value in being single. I know these tips have help me of the course of time. I found self love and make time everyday to work on myself. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all!

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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cassandra

Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

First and foremost, my love life is not remotely interesting. Simply I have been engulf in a see of prospect than turns into to f**k boys. I am no good when it comes to relationships. Frankly, being single sucks at time. I really feel this way when the romantic season approaches.  Valentines is next week.  I already know my timeline is going to jumping, fill of relationship goals hash-tagging , and gifts. Everybody acting really happy on this commercial holiday.  Sometimes, you can’t help but dread being single.  Man, they all make it look so good to be in a relationship. I am saying to myself, “really I want that”.  To be honest, I am starting feel like I will never find that special guy.

Let me keep it all the way 100: I really want to be in relationship with a guy that really cares about me and I care about him. But it is so hard to date now. Man, some of  y’all dudes have been giving me gas! Lol I over it and I am not settling anymore.  Since I have been single I have learned tons of things. What I want and need.  Self love. Knowing what I will not accept. In this post we are going to explore how being single really helped me learn a lot about myself. Hopefully this post can helps us change our perspective on being single.

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Face you make when he says you look pretty for big girl….
  1. Just because it does not work out with someone, does not mean you are a bad person. I have a lot of fall attempts when in comes to being in relationship. They use to leave me asking “what wrong with me”. I had one guy that I was super interested in and it seem like I was always chasing him. I could never get a hold of him. I was wondering if it was something wrong me.  Did I do something wrong? Of course my anxiety was speaking to me loudly saying you should have done this or said less of this. I learn over the course of being single that it is nothing wrong me and I had nothing to do with the reason why he went away. I am just enough. I do not need to do more or less. Any guy that wants me will want to continue to get to know me
  2. No means no! I learn to stand up for myself finally especially to guys.  I know exactly what will not stand.  I finally have set some standard in place
  3. Girlfriends are life savers. Being single you learn that having a good friends in your corner keep you from doing stupid things. I learn so much more about myself when I have discussion with my closest girlfriends. I think I will be a better person for that special someone when the time is right.
  4. Online dating sucks. This is no shade to anyone that enjoy online dating, or who have found their partner online. My experience with it has suck eggs. I felt like everyone on there, that are interested in me, only wants to hook up. Then people lost interest so fast. I rather meet people in person.
  5. Self Discovery- I know what I want.  I have a lot more time to learn myself and work on myself. What I am passionate about?  What I want I want and need? What I wont accept? I value myself so much more, and the way I treat myself will show the my next guy how to treat me
  6. Don’t keep people around just because your lonely- No settling.  I have settle in some trash ass relationship just to spare myself from being lonely. In my opinion, this is when I made some terrible mistakes. Don’t let loneliness cloud your judgement.  Please do not make the mistake for settling for someone that you know deep down they are not right for you. I gave myself time to work on self for that right person.
  7. I suck at communication. I am not good at communication. I blame it on my anxiety. Over thinking and not asking enough questions. Over the time of being single I learned that I need to get better at communication my thoughts.
  8. I am sexy. I don’t not need a man’s validation. When I was younger, the only way I felt beautiful was from a guy telling me I was pretty. Even then it was half ass. Your pretty for a dark skin girl  or pretty for a big girl… WHAT !? The only validation I need is my own. I learned to love & appreciate myself more while being single.
  9. My life does not begin when I find the right person. My life is great right now, it does not start when a man enter it. My life is full for fun, creativity, and great friends and family fill it up. God made me special all on my own. My life will still continue with our without a man present in it.
  10. Maintaining a Relationship is hard. Social media can really trick you out here. Everyone relationship on line looks so good, they only show you want they want you to see. Behind the mask it is hard work and it not always peaches and cream. Being on my own is way easier than being a relationship.

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Special Thanks to  Nicole & Daniela Photography!  They always come through for me!

IG: @nicole_daniela_studio | Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com


With that being said, being single is not all that bad. Stay tuned. We are going to dive in deeper on the next post in “Single Life Series”.

What are you thoughts on being single ? What have your learn as a single person?

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all!

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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Holiday Gift Guide for A Boss Babe

Holiday Gift Guide for A Boss Babe

It is less than 12 days left til Christmas.  If I am struggling then I know someone else is struggling too. It hard trying to give the perfect gift. I here to say you do not have to sweat the small stuff. I thought I would create a gift guide for hardworking woman, your mom, boss woman, girlfriend, or sis. What do you get for women that give so much of herself to others. How can you give back to her?  Women have been working nonstop this year.  So it  was only right to provide a gift guide for you.  In addition, all the gifts listed are $25 and under. Super affordable-No to overspending. I hope this will help you find the perfect gift for that hardworking Boss Babe in your life.

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  1. Becoming by Michelle Obama $19.50//  Barnes & Noble: For the woman that need some inspiration? Our former First Lady is laying it all out there in her new memoir. There are lessons to be learn and inspiration in each memory she tells. This is a must have in your book collection .
  2. “Not Your Bag” Luggage Tag $2.90// Forever 21: A lady on the go? Make sure you get that boss babe on your list a cute luggage tag on for travel bag. Guarantee nobody will touch her luggage, lol.
  3. “Babes Supporting Babes Eco Tote Bag $3.90// Forever 21:
  4. LED Desktop Essential Oil Diffuser $5// Five Below:  Need some aromatherapy after hard day at work. Here is an inexpensive
  5. BH Cosmetic Signature Rose Gold Set $24// Ulta: Makeup lover can never have too many makeup brushes. Gift her a set of these fresh rose gold brushes to add to her collection.
  6. Morphe 9C Jewel Crew Eyeshadow Palette $12//  Ulta: For the lady that is always looks fierce. Here is a simple eyeshadow palette from Morphe. Gift this item to the makeup lovers on your list.
  7. 20oz Stainless Steel Portable Hydration Bottle $9// Target: Hydration is key. Make sure the ladies stay hydrated during this cold, dry winter.
  8. LED Light-Up Phone Ring for Selfies $5// Five Below: This gift is perfect for the influencer boss babe.  This is for the girl that has to say ready with the selfie game. It gives off the perfect lighting, easy to use and store away.
  9. Passport and Visa Holder $10// Target: How about cute, and fun holder for your passport and visa. That travel girl will definitely love this.
  10. Rose Gold Rubber Strap Watch $14.99// Target: Sis gotta be on time. Give her a reliable watch to keep her on schedule.
  11. 2019 Planner White Marble $14.99// Target: Got an organizer on your list. Check a box off by gifting a 2019 planner for the most organized of friends.
  12. York Long Faux Fur Throw $24.99// Target: Gift a comfy, cozy throw to a
  13. Avatara Face Mask $2.99// Target: Let’s not forgot about self-care. Give her a simple but relaxing face mask to help improve her skin.
  14. About Face Boss Lady Sign $5.95// Hallmark: This gift is for the lady that knows what she wants. She is go-getter. She is you- A boss babe!

Happy Gifting !! Happy Holidays to you and yours !!

cassandra