Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

First and foremost, my love life is not remotely interesting. Simply I have been engulf in a see of prospect than turns into to f**k boys. I am no good when it comes to relationships. Frankly, being single sucks at time. I really feel this way when the romantic season approaches.  Valentines is next week.  I already know my timeline is going to jumping, fill of relationship goals hash-tagging , and gifts. Everybody acting really happy on this commercial holiday.  Sometimes, you can’t help but dread being single.  Man, they all make it look so good to be in a relationship. I am saying to myself, “really I want that”.  To be honest, I am starting feel like I will never find that special guy.

Let me keep it all the way 100: I really want to be in relationship with a guy that really cares about me and I care about him. But it is so hard to date now. Man, some of  y’all dudes have been giving me gas! Lol I over it and I am not settling anymore.  Since I have been single I have learned tons of things. What I want and need.  Self love. Knowing what I will not accept. In this post we are going to explore how being single really helped me learn a lot about myself. Hopefully this post can helps us change our perspective on being single.

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Face you make when he says you look pretty for big girl….
  1. Just because it does not work out with someone, does not mean you are a bad person. I have a lot of fall attempts when in comes to being in relationship. They use to leave me asking “what wrong with me”. I had one guy that I was super interested in and it seem like I was always chasing him. I could never get a hold of him. I was wondering if it was something wrong me.  Did I do something wrong? Of course my anxiety was speaking to me loudly saying you should have done this or said less of this. I learn over the course of being single that it is nothing wrong me and I had nothing to do with the reason why he went away. I am just enough. I do not need to do more or less. Any guy that wants me will want to continue to get to know me
  2. No means no! I learn to stand up for myself finally especially to guys.  I know exactly what will not stand.  I finally have set some standard in place
  3. Girlfriends are life savers. Being single you learn that having a good friends in your corner keep you from doing stupid things. I learn so much more about myself when I have discussion with my closest girlfriends. I think I will be a better person for that special someone when the time is right.
  4. Online dating sucks. This is no shade to anyone that enjoy online dating, or who have found their partner online. My experience with it has suck eggs. I felt like everyone on there, that are interested in me, only wants to hook up. Then people lost interest so fast. I rather meet people in person.
  5. Self Discovery- I know what I want.  I have a lot more time to learn myself and work on myself. What I am passionate about?  What I want I want and need? What I wont accept? I value myself so much more, and the way I treat myself will show the my next guy how to treat me
  6. Don’t keep people around just because your lonely- No settling.  I have settle in some trash ass relationship just to spare myself from being lonely. In my opinion, this is when I made some terrible mistakes. Don’t let loneliness cloud your judgement.  Please do not make the mistake for settling for someone that you know deep down they are not right for you. I gave myself time to work on self for that right person.
  7. I suck at communication. I am not good at communication. I blame it on my anxiety. Over thinking and not asking enough questions. Over the time of being single I learned that I need to get better at communication my thoughts.
  8. I am sexy. I don’t not need a man’s validation. When I was younger, the only way I felt beautiful was from a guy telling me I was pretty. Even then it was half ass. Your pretty for a dark skin girl  or pretty for a big girl… WHAT !? The only validation I need is my own. I learned to love & appreciate myself more while being single.
  9. My life does not begin when I find the right person. My life is great right now, it does not start when a man enter it. My life is full for fun, creativity, and great friends and family fill it up. God made me special all on my own. My life will still continue with our without a man present in it.
  10. Maintaining a Relationship is hard. Social media can really trick you out here. Everyone relationship on line looks so good, they only show you want they want you to see. Behind the mask it is hard work and it not always peaches and cream. Being on my own is way easier than being a relationship.

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Special Thanks to  Nicole & Daniela Photography!  They always come through for me!

IG: @nicole_daniela_studio | Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com


With that being said, being single is not all that bad. Stay tuned. We are going to dive in deeper on the next post in “Single Life Series”.

What are you thoughts on being single ? What have your learn as a single person?

Share with me in the comment section.

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So I’m Just to Cooool for You… “Right”!

So I’m Just to Cooool for You… “Right”!

I stay in the Friend Zone… Living Single in 2018s kinda of world I’m glad I got my girls !!! LOL .

Listen to me …I have been curved, I have been friend zoned. I have been confused. I have been without a label. Simply I have no idea where my love life is gonna go. SO I am Living Single 🙂 living single GIF

BARE WITH ME… THIS IS ONE MY POST THAT IS OFF TOPIC BUT I FEEL LIKE MY LADIES THAT HAVE A HARD TIME DATING NEED TO KNOW THIS.. SPECIAL SHARE

I am so over trying to date in this day in age. It so hard ! But I am not gonna give up.

I have always been the girl who tried to be down with the guys. I am also super shy.  I would watch sports, play video games all those things to impress the guys.  Dating is a nervous thing for me so I have a tendency of hiding my true feelings,  and my excitement.  I want to show I am really chill. Also I always wait for the guys to take lead. So with all that being said I had to start looking back at myself and see why dating and my love life is at a stand still.  Maybe you are just tooo cool for the guys. Could it be I am actually holding myself back from finding love …. lol I always thought it was just the guys fault lol. I can’t place the blame on all the guys I have come in too contact with.

With all that being said you just play it too cool when in comes to dating or being in relationship.

How can this be… These are the things that I learn from myself that show I play it too cool… Something to think about it !  Have you display some of these thing ?

  • Being too passive can attract the wrong people: Trying to be chill can be actually read as you don’t take anything serious. Well I do take things seriously I just do not wanna over estimate this.
  • Never take any action: I was ashamed and nervous to take my dating to online. At least be willing to try and put yourself out there. So I made it on a dating site. Its okay 🙂
  • Giving off the “Friend Zone” vibes:  I am the girl who really likes the guy, but  he coming to me for advice about another girl. WHY !!! I have been placed in the friend zone a lot. People read friend vibes off of me all the time. So be honest and tell that guy how you feel. Shoot your shot !

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  • Pick up the phone: I love to text ! But my suggestion is to pick up the phone and have a conversation. I really miss this !

alright tracee ellis ross GIF

  • “Friend Zone” but he wants the whole chicken… really the thighs and the breast. LOL( Friends with BENEFITS): This one is really not for me! I have been in this situation and I didn’t even know it until I ask “WHAT ARE WE”… He said friends that are just enjoy each other. This situation can get really messy if feelings start to flare.  So make it clear what you want ! and if your feelings change about them let it be known immediately.
starz texting GIF by Survivor’s Remorse
UMMM…..
  • Easy Going= Fail!: I don’t know how to speak up somethings, I go with the flow too much. I just want to show that I am easy going… fail ! My friends told me to speak up sometimes about what you want to do. It may show of that you are not interested.

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  • No eye contact: When I am nervous on date I hate making eye contact with the guy. Are you interest or not ? So don’t be afraid to show your interested with your eyes. Give a little eye contact
  • Waiting for them to take the lead: Honestly why I am waiting for guys to let me know how they feel about me ? Lord knows men do not know how to show their emotions!
  • I hate rejection: Because I afraid of rejection I don’t even try ! How is that going to improve your love life. Go ahead and put yourself our there. Are you gonna land in the hospital if he says no? HMMM maybe not lol!

rejected golden state warriors GIF by NBA

IN CONCLUSION…

If I want to date more then I definitely going to be a bit more proactive. Of course not gonna give up on men lol.  LOL if you wanna date you can if you don’t not a problem. I just going to be a bit more proactive with dating. Maybe get over my fear in asking guys out.  Work on my shyness and work on be too chill. “I really do care I just don’t want you to know attitude” I’m gonna work on it. I plan to speak up and tell men exactly how I feel and what I want.

 

**gif images: Giphy.com