Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

First and foremost, my love life is not remotely interesting. Simply I have been engulf in a see of prospect than turns into to f**k boys. I am no good when it comes to relationships. Frankly, being single sucks at time. I really feel this way when the romantic season approaches.  Valentines is next week.  I already know my timeline is going to jumping, fill of relationship goals hash-tagging , and gifts. Everybody acting really happy on this commercial holiday.  Sometimes, you can’t help but dread being single.  Man, they all make it look so good to be in a relationship. I am saying to myself, “really I want that”.  To be honest, I am starting feel like I will never find that special guy.

Let me keep it all the way 100: I really want to be in relationship with a guy that really cares about me and I care about him. But it is so hard to date now. Man, some of  y’all dudes have been giving me gas! Lol I over it and I am not settling anymore.  Since I have been single I have learned tons of things. What I want and need.  Self love. Knowing what I will not accept. In this post we are going to explore how being single really helped me learn a lot about myself. Hopefully this post can helps us change our perspective on being single.

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Face you make when he says you look pretty for big girl….
  1. Just because it does not work out with someone, does not mean you are a bad person. I have a lot of fall attempts when in comes to being in relationship. They use to leave me asking “what wrong with me”. I had one guy that I was super interested in and it seem like I was always chasing him. I could never get a hold of him. I was wondering if it was something wrong me.  Did I do something wrong? Of course my anxiety was speaking to me loudly saying you should have done this or said less of this. I learn over the course of being single that it is nothing wrong me and I had nothing to do with the reason why he went away. I am just enough. I do not need to do more or less. Any guy that wants me will want to continue to get to know me
  2. No means no! I learn to stand up for myself finally especially to guys.  I know exactly what will not stand.  I finally have set some standard in place
  3. Girlfriends are life savers. Being single you learn that having a good friends in your corner keep you from doing stupid things. I learn so much more about myself when I have discussion with my closest girlfriends. I think I will be a better person for that special someone when the time is right.
  4. Online dating sucks. This is no shade to anyone that enjoy online dating, or who have found their partner online. My experience with it has suck eggs. I felt like everyone on there, that are interested in me, only wants to hook up. Then people lost interest so fast. I rather meet people in person.
  5. Self Discovery- I know what I want.  I have a lot more time to learn myself and work on myself. What I am passionate about?  What I want I want and need? What I wont accept? I value myself so much more, and the way I treat myself will show the my next guy how to treat me
  6. Don’t keep people around just because your lonely- No settling.  I have settle in some trash ass relationship just to spare myself from being lonely. In my opinion, this is when I made some terrible mistakes. Don’t let loneliness cloud your judgement.  Please do not make the mistake for settling for someone that you know deep down they are not right for you. I gave myself time to work on self for that right person.
  7. I suck at communication. I am not good at communication. I blame it on my anxiety. Over thinking and not asking enough questions. Over the time of being single I learned that I need to get better at communication my thoughts.
  8. I am sexy. I don’t not need a man’s validation. When I was younger, the only way I felt beautiful was from a guy telling me I was pretty. Even then it was half ass. Your pretty for a dark skin girl  or pretty for a big girl… WHAT !? The only validation I need is my own. I learned to love & appreciate myself more while being single.
  9. My life does not begin when I find the right person. My life is great right now, it does not start when a man enter it. My life is full for fun, creativity, and great friends and family fill it up. God made me special all on my own. My life will still continue with our without a man present in it.
  10. Maintaining a Relationship is hard. Social media can really trick you out here. Everyone relationship on line looks so good, they only show you want they want you to see. Behind the mask it is hard work and it not always peaches and cream. Being on my own is way easier than being a relationship.

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Special Thanks to  Nicole & Daniela Photography!  They always come through for me!

IG: @nicole_daniela_studio | Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com


With that being said, being single is not all that bad. Stay tuned. We are going to dive in deeper on the next post in “Single Life Series”.

What are you thoughts on being single ? What have your learn as a single person?

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all!

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Holiday Gift Guide for A Boss Babe

Holiday Gift Guide for A Boss Babe

It is less than 12 days left til Christmas.  If I am struggling then I know someone else is struggling too. It hard trying to give the perfect gift. I here to say you do not have to sweat the small stuff. I thought I would create a gift guide for hardworking woman, your mom, boss woman, girlfriend, or sis. What do you get for women that give so much of herself to others. How can you give back to her?  Women have been working nonstop this year.  So it  was only right to provide a gift guide for you.  In addition, all the gifts listed are $25 and under. Super affordable-No to overspending. I hope this will help you find the perfect gift for that hardworking Boss Babe in your life.

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  1. Becoming by Michelle Obama $19.50//  Barnes & Noble: For the woman that need some inspiration? Our former First Lady is laying it all out there in her new memoir. There are lessons to be learn and inspiration in each memory she tells. This is a must have in your book collection .
  2. “Not Your Bag” Luggage Tag $2.90// Forever 21: A lady on the go? Make sure you get that boss babe on your list a cute luggage tag on for travel bag. Guarantee nobody will touch her luggage, lol.
  3. “Babes Supporting Babes Eco Tote Bag $3.90// Forever 21:
  4. LED Desktop Essential Oil Diffuser $5// Five Below:  Need some aromatherapy after hard day at work. Here is an inexpensive
  5. BH Cosmetic Signature Rose Gold Set $24// Ulta: Makeup lover can never have too many makeup brushes. Gift her a set of these fresh rose gold brushes to add to her collection.
  6. Morphe 9C Jewel Crew Eyeshadow Palette $12//  Ulta: For the lady that is always looks fierce. Here is a simple eyeshadow palette from Morphe. Gift this item to the makeup lovers on your list.
  7. 20oz Stainless Steel Portable Hydration Bottle $9// Target: Hydration is key. Make sure the ladies stay hydrated during this cold, dry winter.
  8. LED Light-Up Phone Ring for Selfies $5// Five Below: This gift is perfect for the influencer boss babe.  This is for the girl that has to say ready with the selfie game. It gives off the perfect lighting, easy to use and store away.
  9. Passport and Visa Holder $10// Target: How about cute, and fun holder for your passport and visa. That travel girl will definitely love this.
  10. Rose Gold Rubber Strap Watch $14.99// Target: Sis gotta be on time. Give her a reliable watch to keep her on schedule.
  11. 2019 Planner White Marble $14.99// Target: Got an organizer on your list. Check a box off by gifting a 2019 planner for the most organized of friends.
  12. York Long Faux Fur Throw $24.99// Target: Gift a comfy, cozy throw to a
  13. Avatara Face Mask $2.99// Target: Let’s not forgot about self-care. Give her a simple but relaxing face mask to help improve her skin.
  14. About Face Boss Lady Sign $5.95// Hallmark: This gift is for the lady that knows what she wants. She is go-getter. She is you- A boss babe!

Happy Gifting !! Happy Holidays to you and yours !!

cassandra

 

3 Simple Ways to Conquer Your Body Insecurities 

3 Simple Ways to Conquer Your Body Insecurities 

So a few weeks ago TomboyX, a gender neutral and eco-friendly underwear line, reached out to me to collaborate for the holiday.  This is my first time ever working with a underwear brand.  I was super excited initially.  However, I was so afraid to get in front of camera to reveal to the world my body. What I wear and my makeup is my comfort zone.  I am comfortable with my clothes on but when I feel it is necessary to take a few of my layers off, I freaked out. Is this the day someone is going to attack me in the comment section? What if I say the wrong thing? Is someone going to noticed that I have a lot of scares on my legs from eczema? You know I have not quite over come all my body insecurities: dry skin, lumps, scars, and my body shape. So I challenge myself with this collaboration. I stripped off a few of layers and got in front of the camera.

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Everyone at some point of their lives have felt insecure about how they look. While some are feeling too heavy, their is someone feeling underweight.  Or you can be feeling  too hairy, or someone doesn’t feel they have enough hair. Omg does the cycle every end?  It can feel like it is impossible to get out of. I know for myself body insecurity has been with me since my adolescent, high school, all the way to adulthood.

Society can be quite harsh and unrealistic when it comes to our body. Shade is definitely thrown unfairly on those that are heavy, however what brings me comfort is that society doesn’t have clue.  All that is left is acceptance, and self compassion. I am here say that you can rid yourself of all the negative thoughts and insecurities of your body. The key is to learn how to love your body and to accept all other body types too. There is no cookie cutter body shape for everyone. The time is now to embrace yourself. How can I overcome my insecurities? So in this post sis, we are going to learn a three simple way to conquer those uncertainties.

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Learn to Love Yourself

You have to let go of all societal ideals on what the “perfect body” is. Society may have spoon feed us through social media, TV, etc, what the “perfect body” is.  Let me say this calmly, THERE IS NO SUCH THING OF THE “PERFECT BODY”. So accept yours.  I believe standing in front the mirror naked is excellent way to get comfortable with yourself. Focus on saying (or write) 5 things you like about your self. Add a new like everyday. This is self love! You are taking the right step to loving you.

Reversing Negative Body Image

Is it really fair to hold a grudge towards our bodies for the rest of our lives? No, we have to take healthy steps to overcome our insecurities and negative thoughts. Being insecure can open the door for other bad emotions: jealousy, anger, and depression. I believe if you want to change something about yourself, you should only change because YOU want to change. Not for acceptances, or because your being pressured to do so. If you want to improve something physical, start by redeeming your self esteem first. Positive changes will come when you tackle your negative thoughts.

Set Realistic Goals. 

Do not set yourself up for unrealistic goals or aspire to look like someone. For example, I weight 200 pounds. By next month I need to weight 120 pounds. Come on now, I am setting myself for failure. This applies to looks, shape, hair, etc. Understand this if you truly want to change, you have to change for YOU only. There is process for everything, you have to be willing and dedicate.  So brainstorm want you want to achieve, and get as specific as possible. Whatever it is you are wishing to do make sure you do all your research. Smart planning sis !

7Y6A8459Featuring this soft sports bar and boy shorts.  Such a cozy set when you need to take a load off. If you want to be comfort check out  TomboyX and their other underwear styles.

Boy Short “Chilly Penguin Print”// TomboyX**

Essential Soft Bra “Chilly Penguin Print”// Tomboyx**


Location: My Home

Photographer: Daniela Lisi – Nicole & Daniela Photography | IG: @nicole_daniela_studio or @nicole_daniela_photo |Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com 

Special shout to Daniela. I have work with her a few times and I know something great is going to pop off for her. She has an amazing eye to photography and she is super nice!


Do you struggle with a negative body image? What have you done to try to overcome your insecurities? 

Share with me in the comment section. Let me know what I could add to this list.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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**Bra and Boy shorts was given in collaboration with TomboyX. All opinions are my own.

How to Practice Gratitude Everyday?

How to Practice Gratitude Everyday?

I come from small family. It is just my mom, dad, and myself.  We use to hang a lot with my extended family on my dad’s side. We use to have a big family gathering over my aunt and uncle’s home. Playing with my cousins was always the highlight of  the holidays for me. It was always a tradition to say what you were thankful for on Thanksgiving and then would proceed with gracing the food.  Over the course of time things change, cousins get older, they have family of their home, and then you have some family members that hold grudges.  For the past few years it has just been my mom, dad, and myself. My dad is not the most social person, usually Thanksgiving is just my mom and myself.  My daddy is pretty content with is solitude. So you can find me helping my mom peel the potatoes, and mixing up the sweet potatoes batter for the pies. Soon after you find us reminiscing on how things use to me be back when I was small. Laughing at the past or talking about movies we seen over and over again. We always lead back to how I use play with my cousins. How we all use to be.  All the loud noises of laughter and glee.

I really down thinking about how things use to be. It is not the same feeling I use to have as kid. I miss how my family use to be. Now it seems like just another day.  When I am feeling sad, especially about my family, I remember to practice gratitude during the tough times. I find myself being appreciative of what I do have. I have both of my parents and even.  Gratitude is something that can be practice everyday not just on Thanksgiving.  This practice alone packs a lot if benefit and can improve your overall wellness.

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First of all gratitude is simply the quality of being thankful, and having appreciation for something. Instead of showing your appreciation and gratefulness during the holiday, express it everyday. We all having something to be thankful for.   Here is a few ways on how to practice gratitude.

  • Gratitude journal: Write down the things you are thankful for. It helps seeing your positive thoughts on paper. You can always go back and look at you positive thoughts. I write down all the things I grateful for the day each day. It forces me to be present.
  • Appreciate everything big & small: Be thankful for everything. Don’t just show out for big things. Appreciate those small things too. It could be something as simple as appreciate the sunny weather outside. When practicing gratitude you don’t want to leave out anything out.
  • Practice gratitude in negative times: Gratitude is not only for positive experiences. Thinking and going through difficult times can really help with putting thing into perspective. It can really open you eyes to what you have to be thankful for.
  • Volunteer: Helping others can always make you feel good.

The benefits of practicing gratitude can improve your overall happiness. It also improves self esteem and it helps with empathy. Gratitude helps us all realize and appreciate what we already have. We get to see our situation in a different light.  This quote below, in my opinion, describes the benefits of practicing gratitude:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptances, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

-melody beattie

In conclusion to my story above I learn to appreciate what I already have. My family situation might be a bit off right now but gratitude helps me appreciate my little family. Any chance I get I try to spend my time with my mom and dad. They are all  I have and I love them dearly. When you think about it, time is not on our parents side. So I cherish all my moments that I have with them. Ultimately, practicing gratitude helps me understand that my situation is not that bad. I get to hang with my mom. I talk and learn from her. I get to crack jokes with my dad. I am truly content !


What are you grateful for ?

I am grateful you all, the readers. If you have made to end of this post I want to say thank you so much for being a reader of my blog. I really appreciate all the likes, the comments, and subscriptions. I really warms my heart.

I want to say have a Happy Thanksgiving and be safe!

Let me know below in the comments section what your grateful fo. We are friends you can tell me ?

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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cassandra