Hey lovelies, I am back with another post from “Single Life Series”. Now if you been reading, you know that I have been single for quite some time, okay. Like I said on my last post my single status has been my choice, or force upon me unwilling. Anyway, over the course of time I have found myself in many conversation about being “single”. Certainly some things said in this conversation about my relationship status has made me uncomfortable and annoyed. As single person, we get a lot of annoying advice from people that mean well. However there are some things that single folks want people, like our friends and family members to stop saying to us. On today post I want to share my top 10 things you should stop saying to your single friends!
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Last year, my uncle comes over to my parent’s house to get his gifts for holiday. He greets me with love. Before we can even sit down, he blurts out…. “Alayna!! Where’s your boyfriend?” At this point my inside are heating up. He has literally been asking me this question since I was like 14 years old.
For the record, I have been working hard trying to keep my blog, maintain all the other million things I have to do. Dating at this point was not on my radar. Now I know he means well and just trying to get laugh. Frankly, stop asking me that dumb question.
Let Me Be Clear
First, let me clear some things up. I know I know….. your heart was in the right place. Your intent was not to offend. You just want to see that person happy. I get it! However, have it ever cross your mind that you could be making an assumption. Or that I I just plain rude. When did we start treating single like it was such a great obstacle to overcome, or that is was most important thing to human? With that being said let’s get into the top 10 things to stop saying to single people.
10 Things We Need To Stop Saying
1. How are you still single?”
As a single person how can I even unpacked this loaded question. Now I know when it being said that it supposed to be compliments. But I am literally trying to avoid rolling my eyes. I need a dollar for every time I heard this question in my years of being single Hmm I would be rich by now.
This questions make a single person feel uncomfortable. I say for myself that it cause me to go in defense mode, like I have to provide a justification. Simply weird.
2. “I wish I was single.”
Now, most single people realize that they have a lot of time for self, yeah a lot of freedom. We get that, and I am sure it something we all appreciate it. We get it however, Let’s be real. YOU DON’T REALLY MEAN THAT. You don’t have to patronize a single person. It is pro and cons to being single and being in relationship/married
3. “Have you tried online dating?”
Listen online dating is not everyone’s cup of tea. Just because it worked for Sharon doesn’t mean it is for me. I prefer to meet a guy when I am out with my friends, or when random good conversation starts. At this point I am just focus on living my life. If a someone so happens to come in my life… then okay I met someone.
4. “I’ll set you up with… (insert any single person)”
Please stop trying to be matchmaker or pairing me (single person) with another random single person. I know you mean well, But just stop! This action require you to know each parties very well. I really don’t think you did your full research. This require research and I don’t think you know me or the person very well.
5. “Maybe, you’re too picky!”
So what is wrong with having standards, or high standards? I see nothing wrong with it all. Please don’t put your insecurities off on me. I don’t think we have to sacrifice our standards just to have someone or to avoid being lonely.
6. “It will happen when you least expect it.”
So, I have to stop “expecting” it to happen, in order for me to find someone? It could be the case, however it can give off the impression that we are doing something wrong when we are expecting for it.
7.”That why you are still single”.
Trigger! Please don’t say this at all. Do you want to cussed out? Are you implying that I am flawed? What about you? These are tons are reason why people are single, and we have to stop making assumptions. We have the right to have standards , and preferences. Oh yeah we do have other prioritizes, and dating and/or relationship might not be priority at this time.
8. “So what wrong with you?”
Why does it have to be something wrong me because I am not in relationship. Again , we have to stop making assumptions, that the single person is only person full of flaws. That we are the only reason is not true.
9. “Don’t you want kids?”
So the only way a single person can have kids is if they are in relationship? Who said says a single person wants to have kids?
10. “Aren’t you lonely?”
Some people that are in a relationship can be the most lonely people in the world. We have to stop associating singleness with loneliness. Some people are okay with being single, and they are not lonely. They may enjoy their pwn company. That is okay.
So here you have it. A few things to stop saying single people. Instead, ask us how we are doing, or talk about something else. Single folks are not all miserable, desperate, or lonely. We have to stop thinking that relationships are so hard to come by. To be frank, it not the only thing we should strive for to say our life is meaningful. Take the stigma out of being “single” folks.
If you are single, What are some of things you wish people will stop saying to you?
Share with me in the comment section. Let’s talk about sis!! I hope February is an amazing month for you. If you have not check out my previous post about single life, you can so here.
Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, and comment. Please make sure you subscribe to my newsletter. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂