Turning 29: Lessons I Learned in My Twenties

Turning 29: Lessons I Learned in My Twenties

So today is my 29th birthday… I am so thankful to see another birthday.  I have one more year to the BIG 3-0. To be really honest, I am kinda scared of getting older.  Simply I am afraid of the unknown and becoming irrelevant.  I recently was saying this in a previous post, simply discussing my plans as a 29 years old and so forth. To change my thoughts on the fear, I decided it would be best to focus and admire my growth. Growth in life is key. I am not the same girl I use to be, and I am so thankful. Instead of getting hyped up for about premature thoughts on getting older…. I am going to embrace my life, my age, and admire my growth! To admire my growth here are 29 things I have learned in my 20s.

  1. You can’t pour from an empty glass: I learned in order to be my best self, I have to make sure I take time to take care of myself. While working and blogging I learn that I had to invest more time for self and mental care. So every day now I take 10 minutes or more for me.
  2. Love Yourself! It’s really hard but it is necessary. Tell myself every day that I love myself. I learned to be honest with myself.
  3. Holding myself accountable:  You have to pull yourself on the carpet sometimes.
  4. Embrace Failure: Failure is apart of life and if you are truly passionate about something don’t stop just because you failed. Try again and do better with what you know now.
  5. “Listen” first:  Listen before you react!
  6. Know that God has you at all time: Simple as that! Don’t ever doubt that.
  7. One person opinion is not the gospel: Their opinion is their opinion. They are allowed to think freely. It doesn’t mean it is warranted.
  8. Everything does not require a reaction: I learned to be precious with my energy.
  9. Never stop dreaming – no matter your age: Dreaming does not have an age limit.
  10. Small Steps = Big Changes
  11. Everyone’s feelings matter: It is not all about you and your feelings.
  12. Saving money is important. The earlier you start the better
  13. You are enough: Simple as that. I am enough and I do not need to do anything more. I am great the way GOD made me.
  14. Invest in experiences: I learn that traveling is self care. So instead of feeling up my world with materials thing… invest in the traveling experiences
  15. Negative people don’t have room at your table: I have no more patience for toxic people. So I removed myself and distance myself from people that do not mean me well.
  16. Believe in yourself:  I learn to take myself more seriously. You have to believe in yourself.
  17. Maintaining any relationships requires both parties involved: Friendships, Relationships… Whatever it is should not be one side. Everyone has to bring something to the table.
  18. Eliminate credit card debit
  19. Comparison is the thief of joy: This is the truth. Stay in your lane and don’t worry about what someone else is doing. I have to tell myself this so many times over the course of my twenties. You can’t compare apples to oranges.
  20. Practice Gratitude every day: Be thankful for everything. Big or small, Good or bad.
  21. You do not have to tolerate everything just to say you have someone: Leave the f-boys alone. I learn that you do not have to put up with anything just to keep some one in your life. Especially the f-boys. Let them go and flourish
  22. You do not have to be alone: Being alone is a choice in my opinion. I don’t have to be alone if I do not want to.
  23. Who you know get you through the door faster than what you know
  24. If the world says no go through the back door: Do not take no as the final answer.
  25. Skincare over makeup: To have flawless makeup you have to start with a skin care routine. Do not sleep with your makeup!
  26. Stand for something fall for anything
  27. Eat the right food to feel good for the inside out
  28. Learn to let go: You have to make amends with your past. I learn that I cannot let my past mistakes dictate me. Let them go and let it flow!
  29. Embrace your family -look past there flaws: I have a lot of resentment when it comes to some of my family members. They have hurt me so in past I found it hard to let go of that hurt. Family members are humans. They are not perfect so forgive them and look past the flaws and embrace them.



Photographer: Daniela Lisi & Nicole Gafa – Nicole & Daniela Photography |IG: @nicole_daniela_studio or @nicole_daniela_photo |

DWebsite: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com

Share with me a lesson you learn in you 20s 

Share with me in the comment section.

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Sweater Weather

Sweater Weather

New Hair, New Sweater, New Look… who is this ?I am feeling myself.  Lol I decided to take the casual approach last weekend. I enjoy being creative when it comes to fashion but somethings I appreciate my simple looks. To be honest this really how I dress all the time.  Everyday look !! Finally it is chilly enough in Detroit to rock a sweater. This weekend it was about 53 degrees… so me and mom took to the street of Downtown Detroit and walk up and down Gratiot Ave. We check out the local stores, and the record shop and enjoyed each others company.  Sidenote: If you are ever in Detroit, you have to visit Eastern Market to see all the local vendors and shops, and dope murals. It is IG worthy lol. Days like this I really cherish the most. Days that I get to have fun with my mom. My mom is real MVP because she definitely believes and me and all my dreams This will be day I will always remember !!


FashionLayn Outfit Deets..

Again, I was going for the casual look. This outfit is literally what I wear every weekend. It is my everyday look.  While my mom was looking in Burlington, her favorite store. She came across this cute sweater. She texted me and ask if I dig this sweater. Of course I said yes and the next thing I know she told me this is your only Christmas gift. LOL This sweater is from Burlington.  Last weekend look was all about being comfy and casual. Once I put on the sweater, I paired it with some jeans, and some thigh high boots and hit the town. This look can really be worn up and down. This sweater ran my mom $22 bucks, and I think that is definitely a deal. You really do not need to spend a lot of money to stay warm you just have to know how to shop around. So don’t hesitate to check out Burlington. !!

Know I am aware that Burlington does not carry all the same stuff so I took the liberty to show cases a few sweaters that I am digging.  They listed below

A few sweaters I am digging ! 

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We’ve officially reached that annoying time of the year where its sweater weather in the  morning, but by midday you die from heatstroke. LOL


15366581013015307502_im_600x799   15354475621321566375_im_600x1199


little sidenote: 

i just want to tell you all to stop being so hard on yourself. we can beat ourselves up mercilessly. so i briefly want to say to fill your head with positive thoughts. say a positive affirmations in your head through out the day to keep you. surround yourself with positive friends. do what you need to do


Location: Downtown Detroit – Gratiot Ave

Photographer: My Mom- Shoutout to you mom !!!


What are you favorite things to wear during the fall ?

I love wearing sweaters and boots in the fall. That is my favorite combination.

Let me know below in the comments section. Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog.

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Side Effects of Being Loner

Side Effects of Being Loner

Let me tell y’all something. I have always been by myself. I am the only child… no siblings. Never had that many friends and the boyfriend department, don’t even ask- he just don’t exist on the this planet.  I can say that I switch back and forth from being introvert and extrovert.  I had to take a step back from the fashion and address some things that have been heavy on my heart. I know I am not alone in this category. I am super lonely and I am trying to figure out how I can get myself out of this hole I made for myself.

A loner is person that chose not to interact with people.  Let me add my spin to it…. I do classify myself as loner however I pick and choose when I want to interact with people.  Some days I do and some days I want to spend time with myself. I come from a long line of people that are loners in my family. My daddy, grandpa, and whole host of uncles that like to be by themselves. I got it honest  However, being a loner has been super heavy on me lately.  I am highly sensitive person and sometimes I need to check out for my health but no one really wants to be alone all the time.  I remember when my grandpa told my mother his feeling about his son, my uncle. He said “that boys need to get married, somebody that can get him a cup coffee or something. Right there my mom knew my grandpa was lonely. He spent so many years being loner that he some regret about it.  Back to me,  so a few days ago, my mom and I were talking  just about anything  like we always do. The next thing I know I  literally broke down in tears telling her how  lonely I was at home.  And how I didn’t know what to do.  When I go home it just me, no pet, no man, not even a friend to come visit. When it like this you have a lot of time to get inside you head, it really makes it hard to get.  The side effects I have appearance lack of motivation, my stress level is through the roof,  and I have been super negative. I am here to say that it not fun being by yourself all the time.  So I here to try to  rid us for being lonely. Friendships and relationships are more like food. We need it !  So lets try to fix this together.

nicole beharie black girl magic GIF by Identity
Source: Giphy

How to Cope with Loneliness

Don’t get wrong there is some positives from being a loner. Self Dependent, you stick up for yourself, and you know yourself without comparison. I think those are all good things. I think when it comes to being a loner is, are you okay with being alone or not. Also I think you should find a balance with being alone and interacting with people.

If you are like me and your lonely here are few things to help us cope with loneliness.

  1. Identify it: Try not to be in denial about being alone. Being able to see and admit that your lonely. Ask yourself why. Are you afraid to be afraid alone? What are you really looking for ?  Ask yourself the tough questions about loneliness. This is the time to get real honest.  For me when I started feeling alone when one of my closest friend move away. Now I might me being real dramatic however those are my feelings. We use to hang out a lot and she was big part on how me and are other friends stayed together. She is just called away but I we be in denial if I didn’t say miss her company.

    nicole beharie crying GIF
    Source: Giphy
  2. Healthy quick fixes: Loneliness can be so deep that we can find ourselves i  a bad relationship because we want somebody so bad.  Try you hardness not to get so down in the  dump. Talk to a good friend or relative that you know mean well and have a heart to heart. I don’t wanna any of us to get caught up in numbing or pain and issue with drugs, bad relationships, and other ways.  For me I talk to my mom when I am feeling weighed down by a lot of stuff.

    oh my god wtf GIF by iOne Digital
    Source: Giphy
  3. Help someone instead: Take your energy and help someone else out instead. Reach out to them and help through sometimes instead on focusing on other people not there for you. Strengthen your relationship with people!
  4. Get a pet: I have been thinking about getting a pet lately.  From understanding pets can help with your mood especially dogs, I am biased !
  5. Seek help through therapy ! :  If you are really having a hard time coping with being alone then I would suggest to seek out therapist. It is nothing wrong with speaking to someone about all your feelings that you have inside.

The Pain You’ve Been Feeling, Can’t Compare To The Joy That’s Coming.

Romans 8:18

So I am currently working through my loneliness. I talk to my mom and try more harder to reach out to my friends and strengthen our relationship a little more. Little by little I am opening up more and making new friends. So lets see how to bring me out of the dark corner .

What are some ways you cope with being lonely ?

Let me know below in the comments section. Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out of FB and Instagram 


Feature Photo:

Location: Belle Isle Park

Photographer: Richelle Marie Photography | IG: @richellemariephoto


Life is Better with a Pineapple

Life is Better with a Pineapple

Enjoying the Simple Thing in Life

So here is the story and how I got to a happy place from a pineapple. So 5 days prior to all of this happiness in these pictures I learn that I only had few dollars left in my bank account. I was so hurt because I still needed to pay a couple a bills and the due date was right around the corner. I honestly did not know what to do. I called my mom crying on the phone because I knew I messed up ! I was having to much fun and  not watching my money. So my money was official “funny”.  I had to ask my parents for the money … Noooooo!!!  I hate asking my parents for money because I feel like I can’t handle my business without coming to them.  For the past few of days I have been counting  my money… making sure I don’t overdraft my account.  Anywho, I plan to get my financial back together. I been getting great tips for the Broke Millennial book. Also, I plan to create another savings account (nest egg). So when hard time hit I am not drastically impacted.  Let me get back to the story… SO I was so sad and felt down and out. I could not enjoy anything because I did not have the money to do so. No going to the bar, no eating out,  and no shopping . The consequences of my action.  This left me really SAD! Feel like a failure.  Like man I can keep my finances in check…


After all that I got invited to event at The Artist Village Detroit. I use to go there a long time to ago when I was younger. Anyway I got invited by my blogger friend, Leah. I was trying to make the best of my situation. All the vendors and there items were so beautiful. Here comes the pineapple…. So I mustard up some money to get this Pineapple  smoothie drink that everybody was talking about from the Motor City Java & Teas House. I started not to get it…. like you don’t have any money to be giving away right now. I got it away. So I had this pineapple smoothie and it really made my day. The drink was delicious. At this point I was filled with so much joy. All in my spirit and heart.  Really how can a drink do it? This simple little pineapple made me feel so good. It was not just about the pineapple, the small pineapple brought  me to the conclusion that I can still enjoy my life. Yea  I am broke but money alone does not define my happiness. Money does make life easier but never can define your happiness. It is the simple things in life that we take for granted and don’t even realize it.  Being able to hang out with friends, walking, our sight…. the simple things.

So my point to this story is to enjoying the simple things in life.


That simple little pineapple really did it for me. I totally forgot that I was flat broke, that I needed to get root canal, and all the others stuff that had me worrying. I forgot about the all the frustration that come along with adulthood. I enjoyed my life. I had so much fun that day with my friend.  Then we took pictures!!! A blast !!!! In all honesty you do not have to spend all of your money to have a good time. It really the simple things that bring us so much !  I believe that was the lesson that God is trying to get across to me.

slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures in life


This little pineapple smoothie did it for me! I remember to be thankful and appreciate for the small things in life..

The little things definitely add up to big happiness.


Location: The Artist Village in Detroit

Photos: Take by Leah @lvernon2000 and Mia @miasatu


let me know in the comments below what are some of the simple pleasure in life you enjoy?