Let me tell y’all something. I have always been by myself. I am the only child… no siblings. Never had that many friends and the boyfriend department, don’t even ask- he just don’t exist on the this planet. I can say that I switch back and forth from being introvert and extrovert. I had to take a step back from the fashion and address some things that have been heavy on my heart. I know I am not alone in this category. I am super lonely and I am trying to figure out how I can get myself out of this hole I made for myself.
A loner is person that chooses not to interact with people. Let me add my spin to it…. I do classify myself as loner however I pick and choose when I want to interact with people. Some days I do and some days I want to spend time with myself. I come from a long line of people that are loners in my family. My daddy, grandpa, and whole host of uncles that like to be by themselves. I got it honest However, being a loner has been super heavy on me lately. I am highly sensitive person and sometimes I need to check out for my health but no one really wants to be alone all the time.
I remember when my grandpa told my mother his feeling about his son, my uncle. He said “that boys need to get married…. somebody that can get him a cup coffee or something. Right there my mom knew my grandpa was lonely. He spent a lot of years stuck in his way. He was a loner and at that moment he had a some regret about it.
Back to me, so a few days ago, my mom and I were talking just about everything, like we always do. The next thing I know I literally broke down in tears telling her how lonely I was at home. And how I didn’t know what to do. When I go home it just me, no pet, no man, not even a friend to come visit. When it like this you have a lot of time to get inside you head, it really makes it hard to get. The side effects I have appearance lack of motivation, my stress level is through the roof, and I have been super negative. I am here to say that it not fun being by yourself all the time. So I here to try to rid us for being lonely. Friendships and relationships are more like food. We need it ! So lets try to fix this together.
How to Cope with Loneliness
Don’t get wrong there is some positives from being a loner. Self Dependent, you stick up for yourself, and you know yourself without comparison. I think those are all good things. I think when it comes to being a loner is, are you okay with being alone or not. Also I think you should find a balance with being alone and interacting with people.
If you are like me and your lonely here are few things to help us cope with loneliness.
- Identify it: Try not to be in denial about being alone. Being able to see and admit that your lonely. Ask yourself why. Are you afraid to be afraid alone? What are you really looking for ? Ask yourself the tough questions about loneliness. This is the time to get real honest. For me when I started feeling alone when one of my closest friend move away. Now I might me being real dramatic however those are my feelings. We use to hang out a lot and she was big part on how me and are other friends stayed together. She is just called away but I we be in denial if I didn’t say miss her company.
- Healthy quick fixes: Loneliness can be so deep that we can find ourselves in a bad relationship because we want somebody so bad. Try your hardest not to get so down in the dump. Talk to a good friend or relative that you know mean well and have a heart to heart. I don’t wanna any of us to get caught up in numbing or pain and issue with drugs, bad relationships, and other ways. For me I talk to my mom when I am feeling weighed down by a lot of stuff.
- Help someone instead: Take your energy and help someone else out instead. Reach out to them and help through sometimes instead on focusing on other people not there for you. Strengthen your relationship with people!
- Get a pet: I have been thinking about getting a pet lately. From understanding pets can help with your mood especially dogs, I am biased !
- Seek help through therapy ! : If you are really having a hard time coping with being alone then I would suggest to seek out therapist. It is nothing wrong with speaking to someone about all your feelings that you have inside.
The Pain You’ve Been Feeling, Can’t Compare To The Joy That’s Coming.
So I am currently working through my loneliness. I talk to my mom and try more harder to reach out to my friends and strengthen our relationship a little more. Little by little I am opening up more and making new friends. So lets see how to bring me out of the dark corner .
What are some ways you cope with being lonely ?
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