(Disclosure: This post maybe triggering to some people. I am not a license physiologist, therapist, or counselor. If you are having a hard time processing please reach out to someone that can help you navigate through the fear, guilt, and anxiety that is associated with the death of a loved one. Please know that these are just a few things I learn over the years to cope with my grievances. I am not saying my way is the right way however, I am sharing this in the intentions to help myself and someone else.)
People process grief very differently. The death of a loved one is a very sensitive time for anyone going through it. It is something that you take day by day, minute by minute. There is NO RIGHT way to deal with it at. I am aware that everyone process death very differently and that it is okay. With that being said you are allow to feel whatever way, do whatever you need to do to get to a place of healing.
This post was was not planned however, created to help me heal and hopefully start the healing process for someone else. Most don’t know this however, my family and myself has lost someone few days ago. This recent passing of a love one has brought back my feelings of when I lost my grandpa.
My world was shattered when I lost my grandpa in 2010. At 20, I did not know how to deal with this situation. I did not realize I how sensitive and fragile I was. I am an empath so I have the tendency to carry the weight of everyone’s grief plus my own on my shoulders. This was tough time for me and I really did not know how to put words to it. While other were coping I retreated. Anytime someone would bring up my grandpa I would cry. I did not know what to do in this situation, I was so hurt and I did now how to cope with his lost. I bottled it and it burst every time the thought and mention of my grandpa.
Over the years I am learning and learned how to deal with a loss. On today’s impromptu post I thought I would share 7 things that I have learned while dealing with a death of a loved one.
“Hold on to the love, not the loss”
- You never get over it, however you learn to lived with it: I miss him. Somebody days are tougher than the other but I learn to live with it. I would rather have him here, however I accept it and cherish all the memories that I have with him. I focus on the love that me and my grandpa have for one another. Time certainly does heal.
- Everyone deal with death differently: This one is very important to take away with. Everyone process death of a loved one very differently. It something you can not gauge. Some people can grieve for a few days and some take years to process. THAT IS OKAY. Give the person time and respect that. I mention earlier, if anyone mention my grandfather I would break out in tears. I did it for a long time. I was triggered, okay. With that being said you do not need to second guess you feelings. Allow yourself to feels those feeling, and think those thoughts.
- Talk about in your own time: During bereavement I feel a bit rush. I feel like once the funeral has taken place I have to be back to normal myself. Take your time. Talk about it when you are ready. Please do not rush yourself. I learn that talking about whatever that is bothering me helps me. It opens the door to healing.
- Life is short: Losing someone seems to always brings things back to perspective. Everyday you wake up is gift. So don’t take it for granted.
- It’s okay to be vulnerable: Early on I told y’all I retreated. I often times remove myself from situation that become way to uncomfortable. My grandpa’s death was very uncomfortable so bottle away my emotions. I was trying to appear to everyone I was fine. I was crumbling, OKAY! It is okay to to be vulnerable. Who told you to be strong for everyone? Please do not put that type on your shoulders. All yourself to feel your feelings and think those thoughts.
- Allow support: You need all the support you can get in this situation. Closing off from everyone does not help. Allow people to be there for you when you need it.
- Allow yourself time to heal: In time you certainly do heal. Please don’t feel like you have to be back to normal immediately. You are allowed to take as much time as you need to heal.
What have you learned with dealing with the death of a loved one?
Share with me in the comment section.
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