Turning 29: Lessons I Learned in My Twenties

Turning 29: Lessons I Learned in My Twenties

So today is my 29th birthday… I am so thankful to see another birthday.  I have one more year to the BIG 3-0. To be really honest, I am kinda scared of getting older.  Simply I am afraid of the unknown and becoming irrelevant.  I recently was saying this in a previous post, simply discussing my plans as a 29 years old and so forth. To change my thoughts on the fear, I decided it would be best to focus and admire my growth. Growth in life is key. I am not the same girl I use to be, and I am so thankful. Instead of getting hyped up for about premature thoughts on getting older…. I am going to embrace my life, my age, and admire my growth! To admire my growth here are 29 things I have learned in my 20s.

  1. You can’t pour from an empty glass: I learned in order to be my best self, I have to make sure I take time to take care of myself. While working and blogging I learn that I had to invest more time for self and mental care. So every day now I take 10 minutes or more for me.
  2. Love Yourself! It’s really hard but it is necessary. Tell myself every day that I love myself. I learned to be honest with myself.
  3. Holding myself accountable:  You have to pull yourself on the carpet sometimes.
  4. Embrace Failure: Failure is apart of life and if you are truly passionate about something don’t stop just because you failed. Try again and do better with what you know now.
  5. “Listen” first:  Listen before you react!
  6. Know that God has you at all time: Simple as that! Don’t ever doubt that.
  7. One person opinion is not the gospel: Their opinion is their opinion. They are allowed to think freely. It doesn’t mean it is warranted.
  8. Everything does not require a reaction: I learned to be precious with my energy.
  9. Never stop dreaming – no matter your age: Dreaming does not have an age limit.
  10. Small Steps = Big Changes
  11. Everyone’s feelings matter: It is not all about you and your feelings.
  12. Saving money is important. The earlier you start the better
  13. You are enough: Simple as that. I am enough and I do not need to do anything more. I am great the way GOD made me.
  14. Invest in experiences: I learn that traveling is self care. So instead of feeling up my world with materials thing… invest in the traveling experiences
  15. Negative people don’t have room at your table: I have no more patience for toxic people. So I removed myself and distance myself from people that do not mean me well.
  16. Believe in yourself:  I learn to take myself more seriously. You have to believe in yourself.
  17. Maintaining any relationships requires both parties involved: Friendships, Relationships… Whatever it is should not be one side. Everyone has to bring something to the table.
  18. Eliminate credit card debit
  19. Comparison is the thief of joy: This is the truth. Stay in your lane and don’t worry about what someone else is doing. I have to tell myself this so many times over the course of my twenties. You can’t compare apples to oranges.
  20. Practice Gratitude every day: Be thankful for everything. Big or small, Good or bad.
  21. You do not have to tolerate everything just to say you have someone: Leave the f-boys alone. I learn that you do not have to put up with anything just to keep some one in your life. Especially the f-boys. Let them go and flourish
  22. You do not have to be alone: Being alone is a choice in my opinion. I don’t have to be alone if I do not want to.
  23. Who you know get you through the door faster than what you know
  24. If the world says no go through the back door: Do not take no as the final answer.
  25. Skincare over makeup: To have flawless makeup you have to start with a skin care routine. Do not sleep with your makeup!
  26. Stand for something fall for anything
  27. Eat the right food to feel good for the inside out
  28. Learn to let go: You have to make amends with your past. I learn that I cannot let my past mistakes dictate me. Let them go and let it flow!
  29. Embrace your family -look past there flaws: I have a lot of resentment when it comes to some of my family members. They have hurt me so in past I found it hard to let go of that hurt. Family members are humans. They are not perfect so forgive them and look past the flaws and embrace them.

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Photographer: Daniela Lisi & Nicole Gafa – Nicole & Daniela Photography |IG: @nicole_daniela_studio or @nicole_daniela_photo |

DWebsite: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com


Share with me a lesson you learn in you 20s 

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

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cassandra

Bye Bye 2018: My Small Reflection

Bye Bye 2018: My Small Reflection

We are right on the cusp of 2018.  I felt compel to write a brief reflection today. I have to be all the way 100, I am so thankful that 2018 is near the end. For me it has been up and down roller coaster. Maybe even a love/hate relationship. I think that sounds better. HAHA.

2018 I had so many highlights. I can really say it was the year of doors being open for me. I was given the opportunity to collaborate with some many brands. Collaborating with Forever 21 was one of the greatest accomplishment that I faced as bloggers.  I still get chills when I think about. Also, collaborating with TomboyX help me feel more confident to bare it all with their super comfortable underwear. 2018 also allow me to network and meet so many wonderful folks.  Going to all the Femology Detroit events really reassure my confidences.  Lastly, I was given the opportunity to collaborate with amazing photographers in city. I am so thankful for them all because they make the quality on my blog that much better.

On another note, 2018 would not be complete if I did not learn a few lesson. Accountability, self awareness, and reflection were major lessons. I learn that I had to pull myself on the carpet. Unravel all my layers and look within. It was time out for playing the blame game all the time.  Can you believe I almost cancel my blog? Yeah it got really rough for brief period. I almost quit because someone told me my writing was not good. All my ears heard that I suck. During this time I also had to learn that others opinion are not the gospel. So I really going to allow someone to silence me? Even thought the lessons were tough I am grateful that GOD allow me to see clearly. I am thankful that I have great friends and family that were able to help me get through some of my worst time this year.

New Year,

New Feels,

New Chances.

Same Dreams

Fresh Start.

I want to say to you…. Thank you so much for being apart of my 2018 journey.  From reading my post to keeping up with my social media.  Shout out to you! Thank you so much for supporting me! You are the reason why I keep getting in front of the camera, and pushing the buttons on the keyboardI am so appreciative of it all. Y’all are the reason why I push forward. Just to let you know you can expect amazing content and more giveaways in the 2019. (Sidenote: Be on the lookout for the YouTube Channel).

So as I walk into the New Years… I am more organized, wiser, and stronger. I am up for the challenge. I am prepared to pop flavor and drip sauce everywhere. Time to Snatch Edges! LOL

2019 is the year of elevation !

Dress: Glitter Mesh Frill Detail Bodycon// PrettyLittleThings


What are you looking forward to in the 2019 ?

Share with me in the comment section. Let me know what I could add to this list.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

push forward.

cassandra

Side Effects of Being Loner

Side Effects of Being Loner

Let me tell y’all something. I have always been by myself. I am the only child… no siblings. Never had that many friends and the boyfriend department, don’t even ask- he just don’t exist on the this planet.  I can say that I switch back and forth from being introvert and extrovert.  I had to take a step back from the fashion and address some things that have been heavy on my heart. I know I am not alone in this category. I am super lonely and I am trying to figure out how I can get myself out of this hole I made for myself.

A loner is person that chose not to interact with people.  Let me add my spin to it…. I do classify myself as loner however I pick and choose when I want to interact with people.  Some days I do and some days I want to spend time with myself. I come from a long line of people that are loners in my family. My daddy, grandpa, and whole host of uncles that like to be by themselves. I got it honest  However, being a loner has been super heavy on me lately.  I am highly sensitive person and sometimes I need to check out for my health but no one really wants to be alone all the time.  I remember when my grandpa told my mother his feeling about his son, my uncle. He said “that boys need to get married, somebody that can get him a cup coffee or something. Right there my mom knew my grandpa was lonely. He spent so many years being loner that he some regret about it.  Back to me,  so a few days ago, my mom and I were talking  just about anything  like we always do. The next thing I know I  literally broke down in tears telling her how  lonely I was at home.  And how I didn’t know what to do.  When I go home it just me, no pet, no man, not even a friend to come visit. When it like this you have a lot of time to get inside you head, it really makes it hard to get.  The side effects I have appearance lack of motivation, my stress level is through the roof,  and I have been super negative. I am here to say that it not fun being by yourself all the time.  So I here to try to  rid us for being lonely. Friendships and relationships are more like food. We need it !  So lets try to fix this together.

nicole beharie black girl magic GIF by Identity
Source: Giphy

How to Cope with Loneliness

Don’t get wrong there is some positives from being a loner. Self Dependent, you stick up for yourself, and you know yourself without comparison. I think those are all good things. I think when it comes to being a loner is, are you okay with being alone or not. Also I think you should find a balance with being alone and interacting with people.

If you are like me and your lonely here are few things to help us cope with loneliness.

  1. Identify it: Try not to be in denial about being alone. Being able to see and admit that your lonely. Ask yourself why. Are you afraid to be afraid alone? What are you really looking for ?  Ask yourself the tough questions about loneliness. This is the time to get real honest.  For me when I started feeling alone when one of my closest friend move away. Now I might me being real dramatic however those are my feelings. We use to hang out a lot and she was big part on how me and are other friends stayed together. She is just called away but I we be in denial if I didn’t say miss her company.

    nicole beharie crying GIF
    Source: Giphy
  2. Healthy quick fixes: Loneliness can be so deep that we can find ourselves i  a bad relationship because we want somebody so bad.  Try you hardness not to get so down in the  dump. Talk to a good friend or relative that you know mean well and have a heart to heart. I don’t wanna any of us to get caught up in numbing or pain and issue with drugs, bad relationships, and other ways.  For me I talk to my mom when I am feeling weighed down by a lot of stuff.

    oh my god wtf GIF by iOne Digital
    Source: Giphy
  3. Help someone instead: Take your energy and help someone else out instead. Reach out to them and help through sometimes instead on focusing on other people not there for you. Strengthen your relationship with people!
  4. Get a pet: I have been thinking about getting a pet lately.  From understanding pets can help with your mood especially dogs, I am biased !
  5. Seek help through therapy ! :  If you are really having a hard time coping with being alone then I would suggest to seek out therapist. It is nothing wrong with speaking to someone about all your feelings that you have inside.

The Pain You’ve Been Feeling, Can’t Compare To The Joy That’s Coming.

Romans 8:18

So I am currently working through my loneliness. I talk to my mom and try more harder to reach out to my friends and strengthen our relationship a little more. Little by little I am opening up more and making new friends. So lets see how to bring me out of the dark corner .

What are some ways you cope with being lonely ?

Let me know below in the comments section. Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out of FB and Instagram 

 

Feature Photo:

Location: Belle Isle Park

Photographer: Richelle Marie Photography | IG: @richellemariephoto

 

It’s June!

It’s June!

Wow can you believe it ! The months are going by so fast. May has been a great month for Fashionlayn.  I got a chance to hang out with Eloquii and celebrate the new store opening at Twelve Oaks Mall. In addition, I went to a few other events. I got a chance to try on high end clothes with 11 Honore and Jadore Detroit, and I got center with Femology and Lululemon. I had a blast this month. Networking with other women and brands really put me in a better mind state.  I feel more confident now to reach out to brand. Also I feel like Fashionlayn is finally making a small dent. So it is time to get the ball rolling. Its June and I am catching up.  I got a lot of things to look forward to this month. More events,  collaborations, and goals that need to be met. This month I am taking care of business. Focus and dive in deep into my creativity.

Fashion Note 

This month is all about color.  Yes it is Pride Month and I want to focus on all the colors of the rainbow when it comes to my fashion style. I want to incorporate more color into my wardrobe. If you follow my Instagram.. you should if your not… my closet lately has been made out of yellow and sometimes black. When I get hooked on a color I ride the wave too long. Yellow is my color.  Anywho I want to get more solid colors and prints into my collections. On another note.. this month is all about swimwear. I want to take a few picture in my swimsuit. So this is the mood getting myself in a few more swimsuit

Blog Note

For the blog I want to focus on being a expert on what love. Fashion, self care, and Detroit. This month for the blog I have a planned blog collaboration with Leah V, the creator of Beauty and the Muse. So excited and every time we link we always create magic. Also on the blog I want to think about ways to create my email list. So stay tuned I have some cool things coming to Fashionlayn. Lastly, I am going to be go getter instead of waiting for brands to come to me. No matter how small I am as blogger/ influencers I am going to put myself out there somebody will bite.

Personal Note/ Goals 

Now for this month I did  a lot of great things for blog however personally I made a few mistakes when it came to my finances. So this month I want to focus on getting my savings together and start budgeting again for personal accounts and blog.

  1. Holding myself accountable
  2. Reach out to 2 brands for possible collaboration
  3. Open another Savings account and create a nest egg
  4. Finish book: “The Coldest Winter Ever” by Sistah Souljah
  5. Start reading “Broke Millennial”  by Erin Lowry
  6. Not getting addicted to my bad story

 

 

 

 

What do you have plan for June ?

Let me know in the comment section below !