Side Effects of Being Loner

Side Effects of Being Loner

Let me tell y’all something. I have always been by myself. I am the only child… no siblings. Never had that many friends and the boyfriend department, don’t even ask- he just don’t exist on the this planet.  I can say that I switch back and forth from being introvert and extrovert.  I had to take a step back from the fashion and address some things that have been heavy on my heart. I know I am not alone in this category. I am super lonely and I am trying to figure out how I can get myself out of this hole I made for myself.

A loner is person that chose not to interact with people.  Let me add my spin to it…. I do classify myself as loner however I pick and choose when I want to interact with people.  Some days I do and some days I want to spend time with myself. I come from a long line of people that are loners in my family. My daddy, grandpa, and whole host of uncles that like to be by themselves. I got it honest  However, being a loner has been super heavy on me lately.  I am highly sensitive person and sometimes I need to check out for my health but no one really wants to be alone all the time.  I remember when my grandpa told my mother his feeling about his son, my uncle. He said “that boys need to get married, somebody that can get him a cup coffee or something. Right there my mom knew my grandpa was lonely. He spent so many years being loner that he some regret about it.  Back to me,  so a few days ago, my mom and I were talking  just about anything  like we always do. The next thing I know I  literally broke down in tears telling her how  lonely I was at home.  And how I didn’t know what to do.  When I go home it just me, no pet, no man, not even a friend to come visit. When it like this you have a lot of time to get inside you head, it really makes it hard to get.  The side effects I have appearance lack of motivation, my stress level is through the roof,  and I have been super negative. I am here to say that it not fun being by yourself all the time.  So I here to try to  rid us for being lonely. Friendships and relationships are more like food. We need it !  So lets try to fix this together.

nicole beharie black girl magic GIF by Identity
Source: Giphy

How to Cope with Loneliness

Don’t get wrong there is some positives from being a loner. Self Dependent, you stick up for yourself, and you know yourself without comparison. I think those are all good things. I think when it comes to being a loner is, are you okay with being alone or not. Also I think you should find a balance with being alone and interacting with people.

If you are like me and your lonely here are few things to help us cope with loneliness.

  1. Identify it: Try not to be in denial about being alone. Being able to see and admit that your lonely. Ask yourself why. Are you afraid to be afraid alone? What are you really looking for ?  Ask yourself the tough questions about loneliness. This is the time to get real honest.  For me when I started feeling alone when one of my closest friend move away. Now I might me being real dramatic however those are my feelings. We use to hang out a lot and she was big part on how me and are other friends stayed together. She is just called away but I we be in denial if I didn’t say miss her company.

    nicole beharie crying GIF
    Source: Giphy
  2. Healthy quick fixes: Loneliness can be so deep that we can find ourselves i  a bad relationship because we want somebody so bad.  Try you hardness not to get so down in the  dump. Talk to a good friend or relative that you know mean well and have a heart to heart. I don’t wanna any of us to get caught up in numbing or pain and issue with drugs, bad relationships, and other ways.  For me I talk to my mom when I am feeling weighed down by a lot of stuff.

    oh my god wtf GIF by iOne Digital
    Source: Giphy
  3. Help someone instead: Take your energy and help someone else out instead. Reach out to them and help through sometimes instead on focusing on other people not there for you. Strengthen your relationship with people!
  4. Get a pet: I have been thinking about getting a pet lately.  From understanding pets can help with your mood especially dogs, I am biased !
  5. Seek help through therapy ! :  If you are really having a hard time coping with being alone then I would suggest to seek out therapist. It is nothing wrong with speaking to someone about all your feelings that you have inside.

The Pain You’ve Been Feeling, Can’t Compare To The Joy That’s Coming.

Romans 8:18

So I am currently working through my loneliness. I talk to my mom and try more harder to reach out to my friends and strengthen our relationship a little more. Little by little I am opening up more and making new friends. So lets see how to bring me out of the dark corner .

What are some ways you cope with being lonely ?

Let me know below in the comments section. Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out of FB and Instagram 

 

Feature Photo:

Location: Belle Isle Park

Photographer: Richelle Marie Photography | IG: @richellemariephoto

 

It’s June!

It’s June!

Wow can you believe it ! The months are going by so fast. May has been a great month for Fashionlayn.  I got a chance to hang out with Eloquii and celebrate the new store opening at Twelve Oaks Mall. In addition, I went to a few other events. I got a chance to try on high end clothes with 11 Honore and Jadore Detroit, and I got center with Femology and Lululemon. I had a blast this month. Networking with other women and brands really put me in a better mind state.  I feel more confident now to reach out to brand. Also I feel like Fashionlayn is finally making a small dent. So it is time to get the ball rolling. Its June and I am catching up.  I got a lot of things to look forward to this month. More events,  collaborations, and goals that need to be met. This month I am taking care of business. Focus and dive in deep into my creativity.

Fashion Note 

This month is all about color.  Yes it is Pride Month and I want to focus on all the colors of the rainbow when it comes to my fashion style. I want to incorporate more color into my wardrobe. If you follow my Instagram.. you should if your not… my closet lately has been made out of yellow and sometimes black. When I get hooked on a color I ride the wave too long. Yellow is my color.  Anywho I want to get more solid colors and prints into my collections. On another note.. this month is all about swimwear. I want to take a few picture in my swimsuit. So this is the mood getting myself in a few more swimsuit

Blog Note

For the blog I want to focus on being a expert on what love. Fashion, self care, and Detroit. This month for the blog I have a planned blog collaboration with Leah V, the creator of Beauty and the Muse. So excited and every time we link we always create magic. Also on the blog I want to think about ways to create my email list. So stay tuned I have some cool things coming to Fashionlayn. Lastly, I am going to be go getter instead of waiting for brands to come to me. No matter how small I am as blogger/ influencers I am going to put myself out there somebody will bite.

Personal Note/ Goals 

Now for this month I did  a lot of great things for blog however personally I made a few mistakes when it came to my finances. So this month I want to focus on getting my savings together and start budgeting again for personal accounts and blog.

  1. Holding myself accountable
  2. Reach out to 2 brands for possible collaboration
  3. Open another Savings account and create a nest egg
  4. Finish book: “The Coldest Winter Ever” by Sistah Souljah
  5. Start reading “Broke Millennial”  by Erin Lowry
  6. Not getting addicted to my bad story

 

 

 

 

What do you have plan for June ?

Let me know in the comment section below ! 

Its May !

Its May !

Yes its May the month I been dreading about since April. I schedule my wisdom teeth extraction for May 1st. Thus why this post is going up so late. According to the hat in the picture, I have been off duty ! I had plans to complete the day before my extraction however I was so terrified that I could not wrap my head around typing up a blog post.  With all that being said I faced my fear head on, tooth by tooth! Literally !So yes I have 4 teeth missing and I am in lot of pain. Thank God for Motrins lol.  Since getting my teeth pulled I been a little sad. I think my face looks different… well duh my cheeks are swollen! But I still feel like I don’t look the same.  I miss eating normal whole foods, and chewing lol. Nothing like a wisdom teeth extraction that make you appreciate small things like being able to eat. So to get out my mine off the negative let start brainstorming for the blog. No pain or discomfort last forever !

Fashion Note

On the fashion note this month we are going to keep it simple.  I noticed when I over think fashion and what Fashion trends I want to focus on they don’t get done. So this month I am going to bring something new when it comes to fashion. I have found some more gettin grown looks.

Blog Note

For the month of May I got a lot things going event wise when it comes to the blog. I have been so blessed the follow month that now Fashionlayn has been invited to couple of events from well know blogger and brand. Yes,  this month I am collaborating with a brand that I so excited to work with. I can not wait to show you who it is.  I am so thankful for the many opportunities that have been coming my way for the month of May.  I am learning that persistence is a major key alert. I understand that if I truly love and want something I have to work hard to get and be persistent. No time for slacking off. Yes my lovely readers yall will see of this on the blog ! On another note, when it comes to the blog I have been learning to be more engaging when it comes to social media.

Personal Note/ Goals 

April was kinda stressful in my personal life. Fear is really crutch. When you focus on fear and being scared like it can ruin your whole mood. However, being scared did not stop me for complete my goals last month. I finish reading  The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. This book is so good that it is turning into a movie. I am more self aware of my actions and what I say… however still a work in progress. Lastly the wisdom teeth are gone and I am drinking more and more water everyday. Yes!!! So for the month of May I want to focus on nutrition, fitting in swimming suit…

  1. Being comfortable in my bare skin.  This month I want to take a picture in a swimsuit. he
  2. Finish reading Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi
  3. Learn how to stand in my mess and ask myself for forgiveness … Iyanla medicine
  4. Taking a break. Knowing when enough is enough. Too much of anything is not good.
  5. Plan out my finances better. So budget better. I am planning to read a book called Broke Millennial  by Erin Lowry to get me out of the check to check cycle.  I want financially stable before I turn 30 !

 

with all that being said stay focus ladies and don’t let pain stand in your way!

push forward

Alayna

 

 

The Year of the Woman & Spring Fashion- Its March !

The Year of the Woman & Spring Fashion- Its March !

I made it yall February was definitely a month that really tested my faith, my patience, all of it.  I had a lot of plans last month and really nothing went the way I wanted it to. So many plans things that I wanted to do but it just did not happen…. and it happens. For March I plan to be really on it ! Positive side to February  I’ve been fasting and I have been doing consistently. Drinking more water ! Also an awesome achievement that I will discuss later on in the month… 

March we have so much to look forward too. Like its Women’s History Month! Definitely going to give you Black Girl Magic this month ! This month I want to focus on getting my home together. Cleaning, Organizing, making my space likable again. So this is definitely going to help me with self care. Nutrition is key. I want to literally feel good this month.  Super excited for…………………………..SPRING TIME FASHION! 

timelapse spring GIF
Credit: Giphy

FASHION NOTE

You got your magazines for the spring fashion! I got all my magazines for the spring fashion and I am all the way here for it. I want to be a bit more daring when it comes to fashun! . Yes InStyle, Essence, Harper Bazaar got me all the way right.  I am so ready to try out some new styles that I normally don’t do. Of course I have to stay true to me but spicy things up never hurt anybody.

Mixed Prints, Transparent looks, Bright colors, pastels ! This is what I want to bring to FashionLayn this month. So I am going to be committed to bring this to you girl ! Also, I think I want to splurge a bit this month. In January I talk about in investment pieces.   I want to invest in a nice pair of jeans that I know are going to last me for a while.

Stay tuned I got a lot of stuff I want to offer and lot of growing up I want to do when it comes to fashion sense. I can not wait to show you how I styled these checker pants in the picture!

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BLOG NOTE:

This month on the blog I really want to focus on spring fashion and it being women’s history month.  So yes womanhood it is…. that going to be the topic of the discuss for the month. So really I need to reach out to my blogger friend and we need to get some collaborations going.  Lol how do my ovaries make you uncomfortable…. LOL no but serious! Since February was so hectic I still plan to highlight black women. In addition, maybe showcase women own business in the city. That always cool to. SO yes that the plan this month and I’m sticking to it.

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PERSONAL NOTE/ GOALS

Personally this month I want to clean up my space. Clean space represents a clear mind and my mind is running all over the place. As I blog more and get more into fashion I learn that having a clean space is key to feeling at home. I haven’t felt like my apartment is my home. So with self care, we are going to discuss cleaning up our shit !  We have to do it sis.  Its one of my goals.

  1. Yes goal one is to clean up my shit.  My shit meaning my home space
  2. Follow through on my actually plan.
  3. Continue my intermittent fast
  4. Continue to patronize black businesses
  5. Apply for a new job.

 

So yes I have a lot of stuff that I want to accomplish this month when it comes myself, fashion, and the blog. I definitely not going to beat myself this month if I do not accomplish everything I set my mind on but I have to hold myself accountable. However, I learned at the end of February that I need to follow through with my plan. No more shortcuts. So lets stay focus and execute on our plan ladies.

push forward and you will see me in my next post.

 

Alayna

Location: Detroit, MI

Photographer: Alayna– ME 🙂