The Importance of Female Camaraderie

The Importance of Female Camaraderie

The stereotype when women come together is that we are always divided.  Trying to find any reason to claw out each other eyes. I also heard that we don’t root for one another when other wins. As a black woman I know it all to well. It is a huge stigma against black women I know yall believe because you see  it all on TV.. reality TV tell women that we will rather see yall drag each other to make a quick buck.  Do I really need to name the shows… come on now you probably watching one of them right now ! I’m not going to lie to you sis I am guilty as charge. I keep up with the shows too. Women against women sells! However, in all honestly I am over it! I am over seeing women fighting each over men. Or women not rooting for one another because of their own insecurities. I simply over the jealously, and unhealthy competitiveness . Please do not get caught up in that nonsense.   We need to stand up for our sis. Have her back !  Be a true friend because it is hard out here trying to navigate these waters,  we need all the help we can get. So I teamed up with my favorite blogger and friend , Leah V  to express the importance of female friendship/camaraderie and female empowerment  with African inspired prints! We got some work to do, so lets start at the foundation .

What is female camaraderie ?

It is really another word for friendship!. Closeness and loyalty shared among a group of women. Yes ladies we need some loyalty,closeness and respect! I believe female camaraderie is an understanding between woman. That we all can come to the table and have respect for one another. Be able to deal with our differences, empathize, and empower one another.  That would be an outstanding girl code.  Friendship and kinship can never be replace and I believe that camaraderie is the foundation.
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Ways to Promote Female Camaraderie Wherever, Whenever, However !

Jealously needs to go! I know women have a tendency to compare themselves to next woman.  Guilty as charge: I have don’t it. Let be clear even the strongest woman in the room has doubt. It plaques us all but we need to be vigilante when we are doing this to ourselves. Jealous definitely taints our perspective. So with that being said we need stop the comparing and embrace what makes you.. you!  Build up your self esteem, set your goals, have tunnel vision, and celebrate your wins.

I need your support Another way to build female camaraderie is to support one another. Show up for your girl when she launching and brand. Hold her up when she is going through it. We need to support one another.

Something got ahold of you, Its the Past! Grudges between women can linger for along time. When women have a confrontation it really hard to repair those relationships. I believe in order to get past all the mess that we need to let go of what happen in the past. I really want women to try to find some common ground and some mutual respect.

Respect goes a long way With all that being said we have to have respect for one another. No matter how different we are we still have to respect and try to empathize with one another. It simple as that!

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Camaraderie is Important.

Simply having her back, being honest without the confrontation. “Were all in this together” mentality. I want women to win so I believe camaraderie is important because of the support/ console, mutual respect for one another, and identity. If we as women can create a solid foundation to stand on, the door can open for us all to have a seat at the table and have a conversation and try to figure it all out.  Respect goes a long way so lets put the right foot forward .

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Behind every successful woman is tribe of other successful women who have her back.

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A few of my favorite pictures from the shoot !

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Location: Midtown Detroit & Downtown Detroit (Cadillac Square)

Model: Leah Vernon- The creator of the Beauty and the Muse

Photographer: Nicole & Daniela Photography | Website: NicoleDanielaPhoto.com | IG: @Danielalisi & @Nicolegafa

i believe that camaraderie between unrelated women can win. what do you think ? 

let me know your thoughts below in the comments 

push forward.

Alayna

DROPPIN’ GEMS: Doubt Kills Dreams

DROPPIN’ GEMS: Doubt Kills Dreams

Have you heard the phrase… “Doubt kills more dream than failure ever will” ? Yeah I came across this quote on Pinterest and it really got me thinking about self doubt and how easy we can fall to it. Doubt can make you lack confidence in your abilities to accomplish something.  It hold you back from doing great things.  We all were given potential to do something great with our lives. However we still doubt ourselves.

Why do you doubt ourselves in the first place ?

  1. Fear that we can’t sustain.
  2. Habitual doubter – It’s habit – sidenote: it take 21 days to break a habit.
  3. We lack the skills or the experiences
  4. Not putting the past behind us
  5. We believe what others day
  6. Surround by people who doubt themselves
  7. Comfort Zone/ Complacent

All these things can make you doubt yourself. Doubt your potential and then it can kill your dream ! So listen we do not have time for the dream killing or the dream killers. Doubt definitely kills dreams more than failure. Doubt will have you thinking all negative thought on why something can not happen for you. Listen: Believe in yourself… Im going to say it again. Believe in yourself. You can do anything that you put your mind. That might sound cliche but it the truth.

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How do we stop doubting ourselves

  1. Stay inspired: No matter if you truly believe in what your doing you have to have that little push to keep us going. So do what you have to do to keep you inspire to keep going. Literally it inspiration everywhere you just need to receptive to it.
  2. Stop comparing yourself: I think I have said these few times in different post but you have stop comparing yourself to others and what they are doing. I know it hard because you want to be great too. However time has it on agenda for you. You make yourself feel inadequate.
  3. Be aware when you are being your worst critic: I think you are selling yourself short when you over criticized
  4. Postive affirmations: I like to read positive and motivational quotes to keep in the right head space when I am feeling down.

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“Self Doubt is the anchor that keeps our ships from sailing”.

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On the Fashion Tip:

I feel like I am bring a spring denim look to the table. Of course you already know I have an addiction to graphic tees. It just so me ! Denim can be done anyway. This is a simply everyday look. Why did get this WOMAN graphic tees? Simply I got it because I am woman.

Shop My Look:

Plus “Woman” Graphic Tee// Boohoo – LINK

Special Thanks:

JORDVN X RYVN (Jordan), a Detroit Photographer, who took these amazing photos of me. His work is beautiful and he capture the moment so lovely. Thanks again

Instagram: @hecutsa|Facebook: Jordan X RYVN

Location: Royal Oak, Michigan

So my dearest readers and myself believe in yourself and your dream. Doubt kills dream and we don’t have time for it. Your dream matters. So stop doubting yourself and believe in that dream and make it a reality !

push forward. chase the dream.

Alayna

Beautifully Broken

Beautifully Broken

FashionLayn Collaborates with BnPowered

BnPowered is motivational movement that inspire a person to be empower by their own personal life, journey, or story. We all have a experience something in our lives that have shape how we are today. Let me say everything that I experience in life has not always been good. I learn over the years how to cope with my bad experiences, and to take power over them and flip my negatives into positives. No I will not be defined by those bad times.

I am so honor to collaborate with Brit Lashae from BnPowered. When black girlS link up we create magic ! First, Brit Lashae is a beautiful black women who use her story, took control of her narrative, and just like her name she is teaches us all how to BnPowered ( be empowered) !  So awesome right yes! I could not say no to this. I am always in search for motivation. Brit Lashae is a survivor , a personal trainer, author, a motivational speaker, and of course the founder BnPowered movement. I am so glad to be apart of the movement!

BnPowered.com

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I was broken ! However I changed my narrative. I would not be define by negativity!

My “Beautifully Broken ” Story

I had a relationship go all the way wrong while I was in my freshman year of college. So I met this guy through my best friend. I fell in love with the guy because he was so kind to everyone despite all he had going on. We dated for two years, and that was my first big relationship. Anywho when I went up to college I remember we decided to break up–honestly I don’t remember why but we did. I can remember that I still was in love with him and I still wanted to be with him badly. Here is the twist, my roommate at the time was a sweet girl. I would consider at the time one of my good friends and I was so happy to have her with me during college. However it all change.  Now remember the guy I was with for 2 years he visit me a few times up and school, thinking he was trying get back with me he only had eyes for my roommate….. Long story short all he wanted was her! They were together right in my face. A real life couple. My roommate and the guy I feel so in love with ! I became the third wheel. I though she was my friend, and thought he had loyalty to me.

What did I do… I tried to deal with, stay in my quiet, until I blew up on them both. This situation left me so broken. I could not believe this would happen to me. I lost my self esteem. I lost my confidences. I lost myself. I was so broken during this time, mind you I had a full load of classes ! It is sad to say it really took me a few years to get myself together. I felt like I would never be find love from man ever. Honestly it took a long time to even get back in the dating scene. So many fail attempts because I was trying to find something to replace that void in my heart.

Eventually, I pick up all the broken pieces and mended myself back together. I prayed, and meditated. I learn that I am worthy of love. Also, I learn to appreciate the experiences. Yes it was a bad experiences but I learn something out of it I am love. Self Love that I needed to have for myself. I needed to love and value myself more. I would not be define by the two that hurt me so.

“We all have broken pieces, but they are Beautifully Broken pieces that are part of the journey.”

-Brit Lashae

Read Brit Lashae story and how she was inspired to create this shirt ! (Read More)

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Shop My Look :

“Beautifully Broken” T-Shirt /// BnPowered  LINK

Plus Size Super Skinny Ankle Jeans// Forever21 LINK

Black “Old Skool” Vans// Journeys LINK

shop her other inspirational and affordable wear!

Shop BnPowered Collections

Special Thanks:

Special shoutout to BnPowered for collaborating with me ! It really warms my heart when I get a chance to collaborate with a black owned business.  Thank you so much hunny! Congrats on your 1 Year anniversary for BnPowered!! Keep flourishing !

Bnpowerd: Instagram @BnPowered | Facebook | BnPowered.com

 

So what are you going to do with your broken pieces ?

push forward.

We All Have to Hold Ourselves Accountable !

We All Have to Hold Ourselves Accountable !

5 Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable

Accountability: Calling yourself out !

Me: Alayna!

Myself: Huh lol 

Me: Yeah you.. come to the carpet ! We need to talk !

Myself: *sigh* Okay 

Accountability works the other way to you know. You can’t always hold others accountable for what they do… you have start look at yourself and what you do too.

Before I wrote out my goals for March I reflected on the month of February. I noticed that I did not reach any of my personal goals nor was I consistent on my blog. I was thinking and I was coming up with some many excuses as to why I did not achieve my goals or work on my blog enough ! None of it was making sense. As I was pointing  fingers at other things in regards to why I was not being consistent on my blog or reaching my goals… I had three fingers point back at me. It was on me !  I let myself down, I was being lazy, I was not using my time wisely . It was all on me! I had to hold myself accountable for  my actions and choices. Tough pill to swallow right . I realize that it time to take myself serious ! Stop sabotaging myself! I was the reason why my growth was stalling.

think late show GIF by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Credit: Giphy: The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

GETTING IN MY OWN WAY ! UMMM WELL IT TIME TO GET IT TOGETHER!

What does the phrase mean “holding yourself accountable” ?

Accountability alone is about holding something responsible. Personal responsibility is holding yourself responsible- not someone else.  I am learning that once you become more aware of yourself, and holding yourself accountable that you will  improve dramatically. So be proactive! You have to change your mindset! If you want something you have to go out there and get it. So if you want to flourish in life, start holding yourself accountable for what you do and say. Be more aware of your actions, responsibilities, and goals. (Those are three ways to hold yourself accountable) I have a understanding if I do this I will see a big improvement in my personal life, and professional life.

5 Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable

  1. Be in the right mindset:  I think if you want to hold yourself accountable that you need to be in a positive state of mind. I like creating goals after reading a book that put me in a good mood. So if I feel inspire then I feel compel to create and  do !
  2. Create a to-do list and honor it !: To hold yourself accountable you have to be a little organize. I prefer to create a to do list! The list has to be on me at all times and I have to actively cross things off. So yes write your goals, or what you want to accomplish on some paper.  Make it accessible and honer that list. Cross things off that accomplish.  Sidenote:  Do not start anything new until you knock the things you want to accomplish first!
  3. Spend your time wisely: Make sure you are using all your time dedicated to what you need to do ! Example: I lose out on  time because I am literally scrolling on Instagram. That could be time I am using to write out my blog post for the next day.  Oh man ! Yes you have become more aware of how you are using your time sis! Make it all count.
  4. Have a person that hold you accountable: Get you a buddy (real friend) that will help hold yourself  accountable. A friend that will make you aware of your actions, and what you are doing. Everybody has that one friend that wants to see them grow, so put them to use !
  5. Stop putting things off: A lot of times I put things off because I am scared. Scared of the outcome ! Fear is a b word. If something that you want to do set some goals and do it ! We all gotta do the work! There are no shortcuts in success !
late night lol GIF by The Rundown with Robin Thede
Credit: Giphy The Rundown with Robin Thede

Go out and be great ! Pull yourself on the carpet and hold your self accountable for your actions and choices, what your responsible for, and your personal goals. I want use to grow sis.

SIDENOTE: The fashion is coming yall !!! I have a couple photoshoots plan and done ! So keep rocking with me!

push foward

Alayna