3 Simple Ways to Conquer Your Body Insecurities 

3 Simple Ways to Conquer Your Body Insecurities 

So a few weeks ago TomboyX, a gender neutral and eco-friendly underwear line, reached out to me to collaborate for the holiday.  This is my first time ever working with a underwear brand.  I was super excited initially.  However, I was so afraid to get in front of camera to reveal to the world my body. What I wear and my makeup is my comfort zone.  I am comfortable with my clothes on but when I feel it is necessary to take a few of my layers off, I freaked out. Is this the day someone is going to attack me in the comment section? What if I say the wrong thing? Is someone going to noticed that I have a lot of scares on my legs from eczema? You know I have not quite over come all my body insecurities: dry skin, lumps, scars, and my body shape. So I challenge myself with this collaboration. I stripped off a few of layers and got in front of the camera.

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Everyone at some point of their lives have felt insecure about how they look. While some are feeling too heavy, their is someone feeling underweight.  Or you can be feeling  too hairy, or someone doesn’t feel they have enough hair. Omg does the cycle every end?  It can feel like it is impossible to get out of. I know for myself body insecurity has been with me since my adolescent, high school, all the way to adulthood.

Society can be quite harsh and unrealistic when it comes to our body. Shade is definitely thrown unfairly on those that are heavy, however what brings me comfort is that society doesn’t have clue.  All that is left is acceptance, and self compassion. I am here say that you can rid yourself of all the negative thoughts and insecurities of your body. The key is to learn how to love your body and to accept all other body types too. There is no cookie cutter body shape for everyone. The time is now to embrace yourself. How can I overcome my insecurities? So in this post sis, we are going to learn a three simple way to conquer those uncertainties.

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Learn to Love Yourself

You have to let go of all societal ideals on what the “perfect body” is. Society may have spoon feed us through social media, TV, etc, what the “perfect body” is.  Let me say this calmly, THERE IS NO SUCH THING OF THE “PERFECT BODY”. So accept yours.  I believe standing in front the mirror naked is excellent way to get comfortable with yourself. Focus on saying (or write) 5 things you like about your self. Add a new like everyday. This is self love! You are taking the right step to loving you.

Reversing Negative Body Image

Is it really fair to hold a grudge towards our bodies for the rest of our lives? No, we have to take healthy steps to overcome our insecurities and negative thoughts. Being insecure can open the door for other bad emotions: jealousy, anger, and depression. I believe if you want to change something about yourself, you should only change because YOU want to change. Not for acceptances, or because your being pressured to do so. If you want to improve something physical, start by redeeming your self esteem first. Positive changes will come when you tackle your negative thoughts.

Set realistic goals. 

Do not set yourself up for unrealistic goals or aspire to look like someone. For example, I weight 200 pounds. By next month I need to weight 120 pounds. Come on now, I am setting myself for failure. This applies to looks, shape, hair, etc. Understand this if you truly want to change, you have to change for YOU only. There is process for everything, you have to be willing and dedicate.  So brainstorm want you want to achieve, and get as specific as possible. Whatever it is you are wishing to do make sure you do all your research. Smart planning sis !

7Y6A8459Featuring this soft sports bar and boy shorts.  Such a cozy set when you need to take a load off. If you want to be comfort check out  TomboyX and their other underwear styles.

Boy Short “Chilly Penguin Print”// TomboyX**

Essential Soft Bra “Chilly Penguin Print”// Tomboyx**


Location: My Home

Photographer: Daniela Lisi – Nicole & Daniela Photography | IG: @nicole_daniela_studio or @nicole_daniela_photo |Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com 

Special shout to Daniela. I have work with her a few times and I know something great is going to pop off for her. She has an amazing eye to photography and she is super nice!


Do you struggle with a negative body image? What have you done to try to overcome your insecurities? 

Share with me in the comment section. Let me know what I could add to this list.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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**Bra and Boy shorts was given in collaboration with TomboyX. All opinions are my own.

How to Practice Gratitude Everyday?

How to Practice Gratitude Everyday?

I come from small family. It is just my mom, dad, and myself.  We use to hang a lot with my extended family on my dad’s side. We use to have a big family gathering over my aunt and uncle’s home. Playing with my cousins was always the highlight of  the holidays for me. It was always a tradition to say what you were thankful for on Thanksgiving and then would proceed with gracing the food.  Over the course of time things change, cousins get older, they have family of their home, and then you have some family members that hold grudges.  For the past few years it has just been my mom, dad, and myself. My dad is not the most social person, usually Thanksgiving is just my mom and myself.  My daddy is pretty content with is solitude. So you can find me helping my mom peel the potatoes, and mixing up the sweet potatoes batter for the pies. Soon after you find us reminiscing on how things use to me be back when I was small. Laughing at the past or talking about movies we seen over and over again. We always lead back to how I use play with my cousins. How we all use to be.  All the loud noises of laughter and glee.

I really down thinking about how things use to be. It is not the same feeling I use to have as kid. I miss how my family use to be. Now it seems like just another day.  When I am feeling sad, especially about my family, I remember to practice gratitude during the tough times. I find myself being appreciative of what I do have. I have both of my parents and even.  Gratitude is something that can be practice everyday not just on Thanksgiving.  This practice alone packs a lot if benefit and can improve your overall wellness.

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First of all gratitude is simply the quality of being thankful, and having appreciation for something. Instead of showing your appreciation and gratefulness during the holiday, express it everyday. We all having something to be thankful for.   Here is a few ways on how to practice gratitude.

  • Gratitude journal: Write down the things you are thankful for. It helps seeing your positive thoughts on paper. You can always go back and look at you positive thoughts. I write down all the things I grateful for the day each day. It forces me to be present.
  • Appreciate everything big & small: Be thankful for everything. Don’t just show out for big things. Appreciate those small things too. It could be something as simple as appreciate the sunny weather outside. When practicing gratitude you don’t want to leave out anything out.
  • Practice gratitude in negative times: Gratitude is not only for positive experiences. Thinking and going through difficult times can really help with putting thing into perspective. It can really open you eyes to what you have to be thankful for.
  • Volunteer: Helping others can always make you feel good.

The benefits of practicing gratitude can improve your overall happiness. It also improves self esteem and it helps with empathy. Gratitude helps us all realize and appreciate what we already have. We get to see our situation in a different light.  This quote below, in my opinion, describes the benefits of practicing gratitude:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptances, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

-melody beattie

In conclusion to my story above I learn to appreciate what I already have. My family situation might be a bit off right now but gratitude helps me appreciate my little family. Any chance I get I try to spend my time with my mom and dad. They are all  I have and I love them dearly. When you think about it, time is not on our parents side. So I cherish all my moments that I have with them. Ultimately, practicing gratitude helps me understand that my situation is not that bad. I get to hang with my mom. I talk and learn from her. I get to crack jokes with my dad. I am truly content !


What are you grateful for ?

I am grateful you all, the readers. If you have made to end of this post I want to say thank you so much for being a reader of my blog. I really appreciate all the likes, the comments, and subscriptions. I really warms my heart.

I want to say have a Happy Thanksgiving and be safe!

Let me know below in the comments section what your grateful fo. We are friends you can tell me ?

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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cassandra

 

6 Tips For Emotional Healing

6 Tips For Emotional Healing

So I know as of lately my emotions has been all over the place. I made it clear this month in my It’s October !! post that I wanted to focus on healing. Inside and out, especially mentally. So it is time to be still for a moment.   Also, it time for me too really sit back to identify what is making me feel all of these emotions.  With all that being said I had to identify that I was emotionally a mess. I had lost control….. one thing about a person like me losing control scares me.  So this month I put myself under the microscope and really worked hard with getting to core of what my grief was. Check out my story to see if I am in the process of recovering from emotional pains and scars!

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My Story …

First I constantly was worry, and complaining a lot.  I was worry about being successful, money problem, just a lot of things that everyday people are challenge with. I was mental drained. Also I was suffering from the perfectionism complex. I  felt like I  had to be perfect. I really can feel the pressure  I put on myself.  All my family and friends looking at me, using me as the model. I put so much pressure on myself to the point I stated to rebel. My rebellious state put me in the worst predicament ever in my life. I was force to make some hard decisions during that time. After coming though that tough time, I found myself ridden with some much guilt, shame, and sadness. I felt like a failure.. I was literally crying all the time.  (At that point, I made the decision to talk to somebody… I talked to my mom, also I was in the process of finding a therapist) This was the first time I realize I was not on it. I made a huge mistake and I was not alright. I was so busy trying to be perfect that I believe that I could never make a mistake of that magnitude. I had to face reality that I was not perfect. I was not excused from making mistakes.

So with that being said I believe that GOD put me through it to learn that I was not perfect. I will make mistakes and just because I made of mistake does not make unworthy of love. He understand that all his children are human, and we all make mistake. I had learned to stop condemning myself . In order to heal you  have to first self examine, ask for forgiveness and go on with life. Now I am not trying to take get to heavily spiritually, I wanted to share with you all my story on how I am learning how to heal myself emotionally.  Honestly, this journey  of healing is something I have to practice day by day. I truly understand that in order to heal I have to trust the process and learn to accept myself. Also, to stop being my worst enemy, and how to still love myself past all the mistakes that I made and will make in life.  Let me be clear … I am still healing and I will probably be healing for a while however, for the first time I don’t feel like I have to be perfect !

Identify Emotional Pain

Emotional pain can really make it hard for anyone to live their best life. It really can take a hold of you and really cause a mess. I think it is important to try to identify it however, emotional pain can be hard to identify in my opinion. I realize on my own that I was holding to a lot of grief from my past. Even some close friends told me that I needed let go of thing that was “life span” ago.  Seriously, it was a lot of things were on my shoulders. It was really wearing away at me.  That type of pain can really hinder anyone from living their life and manifest some terrible things physically. I know for me I continue to replay the past. I kept thinking about my issues over and over, those thought only made me more sad, and piled on more grief.  So with that being said I am tired physically  of carrying all this stuff around. So I had to really practice the art of “letting go“.

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Tips for Healing Emotionally 

  • let go of all the baggage that you carrying. it’s too heavy
  • forgiveness is key
  • accept who you are and make peace with yourself
  • stop ruminating – stop harboring over the hurt, past, and the grief
  • speaking positivity really helps – self affirmations
  • turn lemons into lemonade – turn your failure into something positive

Importantly: Remember if you need to talk to therapist to hep you navigate be all means put this post down and do what you need to do to start the healing process

Other ways to help mental wellness…

  • I am optimist, my mommy taught me how to look on the bright side of things. I have faith and hope that I am always going to make it through anything that is challenging, thankful I do !
  • Supportive people in your corner
  • Expressing gratitude: Having a gratitude journal has being really helping me. Every night I write down what I am thankful for. I go to bed with joy in my heart, and really helps with putting all my things into perspective
  • Mindfulness:  Presently and actively appreciating were you are at in life.

Disclaimer: I want to make it clear and I am not licences individual or therapist. These are just my personal thoughts.Importantly: Remember if you need to talk to therapist to help you navigate through it all; Pleas put this post down and do what you need to do to start your healing process.


Resources: Psychology Today: www.psychologytoday.com – has a whole list of therapist, and 
social workers in your area that you can reach out to for help). Therapy for Black Girls: www.therapyforblackgirls.com– has a list of black therapists in your area.

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“Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the words,  Stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them. “

-Iyanla Vanzant

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My mom said me and Viola Davis favor each other in this picture

Photographer: Daniela Lisi – Nicole & Daniela Photography | IG: @nicole_daniela_studio or @nicole_daniela_photo |Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com 

Special shout to Daniela. She is one of the sweetest person I every met. She is so honest and I really appreciate people like her. We literally had a whole conversation while taking these pictures. I really appreciate and love days like this. 

Location: Nicole & Daniela Studio


Why I was inspired…

I love to tell my story because I feel like it can ignite the fire in someone to do something about what they are going through. It was really important for me to get my smile back so I turn my grief into a post to help myself, to learn, and to hopefully help someone else.  I hope this find you well

If you enjoy this post please let me know below in the comments section. Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog.

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out of Facebook and Instagram

cassandra

Story Time: Why I Was Inspired to Start Blogging?

Story Time: Why I Was Inspired to Start Blogging?

I felt compelled today to tell my story as to why I started blogging. I mention it a bit in about me page my blog. However, I never fully went into to details about. I feel comfortable at this time to tell my story. Disclaimer: I have to be really honest with how my brain process things at time. Ha, you might not like the fact that  I started with superficial dreams.  But it is my truth at that time. Hopefully this story will find you and give you to the courage to go for what you want in life. Motivation is the key ! There is always something that spark the flame within you to go for something.

So before I started blogging I was really unsure of myself and not really sure where I fit in the world. Struggling always to find my voice. On top of that all I had a low self-esteem. I would mask my tears and sadness with jokes, laughter, and priding myself on being the class clown. I always wanted everybody to like to me… I wanted to be popular. Let me remind you this was only a few years ago. I was totally confused.  On the flip side, I really did not have sense of style in my opinion. I grew up during that time wear Akadmiks, Pepe, Baby Phat “urban” street wear was in style.  I was mixing trend, wearing outdated things… simply a mess.  Don’t judge… if you are millennial you already know the early 2000s was something else lol !

Shocked Franchesca Ramsey GIF by chescaleigh

So how did I get myself together, First I had to let go of a few things that were hindering me in my past. Bad breakup, Bad friendships and embrace new endeavors.  I had to let go my feelings towards the worst relationship crisis and friendship during my freshman year of college. If you want to read the full story check out my beautifully broken post .  After that horrible experience a few other bad ones I learn that I have to love myself first before I can be in any relationships. So I started focusing on me. I started to take more pride in my appearance and how I valued myself over the time I had to myself.  I started dressing up more, wearing more makeup and trying different styles out. I felt I needed to look the part. I ask my mom for her guidance and I got really into People StyleWatch magazine. By that time I graduated from college and I  was working as intern in Downtown Detroit.  A girl at work got me really hooked on interest. I was creating boards and liking pictures left and right.  I knew at work it was dress free environment but I wanted to step my game up further. I wanted to prove to people, that just because I was a curvy girl does not mean I did not know how to dress that was false.

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One day while I was on Pinterest I stumble across Kelly Augustine picture. Kelly is plus size blogger/ influencer.  She was so bold and regal in her picture. Kelly Augustine, then it grew to Essie Golden, Osha Waiters, Hayet Rida, GabiFresh, Naturally Fashionable … the list can go on and on.  I was super inspired.  They  were so confident and that want I wanted to be was confident.  Forgot the clothes I wanted the confidences that beamed off of them.  So in 2015 I got the nerve up to start FashionLayn.  And the rest is history !

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I started showcasing different fashion style however it was hard staying consistent at first. Then I transition into providing a positive message to curvy women. Now I am all into curvy fashion, speaking to millennial, and show off my city, Detroit. I absolutely love to blog and talking to you all like a real life girlfriend! Over the 3 years of blogging I have grown and overcome many obstacles along the way. I super proud with where I am now with my blogging. I am super excited to see how far this go for me !

So the answer to my question, I was inspired to start my blog because I wanted  confidences for myself. I wanted the confidences like all those curvy girls I shared in this story. It is still a real up and down story. I wouldn’t be me if I said I had it all together. I chose to share it with yall! Go for what you want and don’t let anybody tell you it’s not possible.  Be Confident This is my dream and currently living it ! 

letitia wright black girl magic GIF by Republic Records

Special shoutout to BlogWithKim Mastermind Class who inspired me and others to share their story.

cassandra