Story Time: Why I Was Inspired to Start Blogging?

Story Time: Why I Was Inspired to Start Blogging?

I felt compelled today to tell my story as to why I started blogging. I mention it a bit in about me page my blog. However, I never fully went into to details about. I feel comfortable at this time to tell my story. Disclaimer: I have to be really honest with how my brain process things at time. Ha, you might not like the fact that  I started with superficial dreams.  But it is my truth at that time. Hopefully this story will find you and give you to the courage to go for what you want in life. Motivation is the key ! There is always something that spark the flame within you to go for something.

So before I started blogging I was really unsure of myself and not really sure where I fit in the world. Struggling always to find my voice. On top of that all I had a low self-esteem. I would mask my tears and sadness with jokes, laughter, and priding myself on being the class clown. I always wanted everybody to like to me… I wanted to be popular. Let me remind you this was only a few years ago. I was totally confused.  On the flip side, I really did not have sense of style in my opinion. I grew up during that time wear Akadmiks, Pepe, Baby Phat “urban” street wear was in style.  I was mixing trend, wearing outdated things… simply a mess.  Don’t judge… if you are millennial you already know the early 2000s was something else lol !

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So how did I get myself together, First I had to let go of a few things that were hindering me in my past. Bad breakup, Bad friendships and embrace new endeavors.  I had to let go my feelings towards the worst relationship crisis and friendship during my freshman year of college. If you want to read the full story check out my beautifully broken post .  After that horrible experience a few other bad ones I learn that I have to love myself first before I can be in any relationships. So I started focusing on me. I started to take more pride in my appearance and how I valued myself over the time I had to myself.  I started dressing up more, wearing more makeup and trying different styles out. I felt I needed to look the part. I ask my mom for her guidance and I got really into People StyleWatch magazine. By that time I graduated from college and I  was working as intern in Downtown Detroit.  A girl at work got me really hooked on interest. I was creating boards and liking pictures left and right.  I knew at work it was dress free environment but I wanted to step my game up further. I wanted to prove to people, that just because I was a curvy girl does not mean I did not know how to dress that was false.

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One day while I was on Pinterest I stumble across Kelly Augustine picture. Kelly is plus size blogger/ influencer.  She was so bold and regal in her picture. Kelly Augustine, then it grew to Essie Golden, Osha Waiters, Hayet Rida, GabiFresh, Naturally Fashionable … the list can go on and on.  I was super inspired.  They  were so confident and that want I wanted to be was confident.  Forgot the clothes I wanted the confidences that beamed off of them.  So in 2015 I got the nerve up to start FashionLayn.  And the rest is history !

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I started showcasing different fashion style however it was hard staying consistent at first. Then I transition into providing a positive message to curvy women. Now I am all into curvy fashion, speaking to millennial, and show off my city, Detroit. I absolutely love to blog and talking to you all like a real life girlfriend! Over the 3 years of blogging I have grown and overcome many obstacles along the way. I super proud with where I am now with my blogging. I am super excited to see how far this go for me !

So the answer to my question, I was inspired to start my blog because I wanted  confidences for myself. I wanted the confidences like all those curvy girls I shared in this story. It is still a real up and down story. I wouldn’t be me if I said I had it all together. I chose to share it with yall! Go for what you want and don’t let anybody tell you it’s not possible.  Be Confident This is my dream and currently living it ! 

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Special shoutout to BlogWithKim Mastermind Class who inspired me and others to share their story.

cassandra

Droppin’ Gems: Never Too Old To Go After Your Dreams

Droppin’ Gems: Never Too Old To Go After Your Dreams

I know a lot of people can understand where I am coming from in whatever avenue they are in. When I am I going to make it ? What is my success story going to me? Am I too old for that ? The everyday struggle of a Millennial.   I struggle sometimes seeing other people younger than me making in the field that I am working to grow in.   Now I have to be honest I never thought that I would be a fashion blogger. When I was a young girl  I had it all planned out. I was going to be married by 25, kid before 30, and successful career as Creative Art Director.  Well my actual life is not the success story I was picturing. I am 28 with nothing to really to show for. I ask my parents for money, struggle to pay my rent/bills and  have a  fear that I am going to be some man’s baby momma. Too much right. LOL these are my truths.  And then the doubt sets in. I hate it ! I have to constantly remind myself and read my blog post about how doubt kills dreams.This is not what I had in mind when I think about successful life.

My personal thoughts:   I keep feeling this heavy pressure barreling down on me. I don’t know if I am ever going to make it, especially as a blogger.  Now I am very much aware that I am only 28 years writing this  but so what.  In all honesty I just struggle with my age and what society says I should be doing, or what parents say I should be doing.  Other people are launching brands, being feature in magazine, collaborations just the whole 9! And there is me… I am not sure what me is doing  

Again, I put so much pressure on myself. I feel like I am on this invisible clock .. like I have to be successful by a certain age, if not then I am a failure!  I am here to tell you there is no clock, and this so unhealthy to put all that pressure on your shoulder. It not fair! So with that being said I am going to stop putting all that pressure on myself.  I am the reason why I am so burnout and ultimately why I can be unmotivated. So at this moment, I here to say that I will not determine my success based of my age. My age is the not the end all. I have to stay in my lane and do what I feel is right to get me to my goal. To be honest, I believe I am more mature and that have a better outlook on what I really want to do in my life.  Beyoncé was not Beyoncé over night. She worked extremely hard and  she super passionate !

Late Bloomer Success Stories:

Viola Davis, Kerry Washington, Taraji P Henson, JK Rowling, Vera Wang, Melissa McCarthy, Leslie Jones, Lupita Nyong’o, Samuel L Jackson, and Phylicia Rashad – to name a few

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So above I listed a few people who became very successful and popular in their careers at a late age. I feel like society believes a late bloomer is anybody at the age of 30  or older? Is this really true. I feel like 30 is young but generation X calls me old lol

So my dream is to become a full-time blogger. I want to continue to showcase my stories and feelings to all the millennial women out there. Also I want my dreams of being full-time blogger morph into plus size fashion line.   When I was younger I use to draw pictures of different outfits for curvy girls. Then when I was in high school I had a fashion illustration class it was magic. To be honest anything that is pushing me to be creative, it’s for me ! Again, you are never too old to go after your dream !! So this is going to happen for me. I am going to have successful that turns into a fashion store !

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You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream

-C.S. Lewis

With all that being said… go for what you want and don’t let you age, the fear of failure, or whatever stop you for going after your dream. Your identify has never been set in stone. Let go of the pressure and go for what you want.  The more pressure you put the faster you can burn yourself out. Take it day by day ! Never be scared to learn

I have to be honest I don’t have any special formula or whatever to go by. I just want you to read this get motivated.  The ship has not sailed !So I writing this to tell you and myself that you are never to old to dream, and to live out your dream. Your dreams  might be delayed but not denied. Whatever it is that you want to do in life, do it! Do not let you age or anybody take you from going after whatever it is that you desire.

Issa Rae GIF by MTV Movie & TV Awards

 


What is your success story ?

Let me know below in the comments section. Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog.

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out of Facebook and Instagram

REMINDER: Any step towards your dreams are never a backward step!

 

The Importance of Female Camaraderie

The Importance of Female Camaraderie

The stereotype when women come together is that we are always divided.  Trying to find any reason to claw out each other eyes. I also heard that we don’t root for one another when other wins. As a black woman I know it all to well. It is a huge stigma against black women I know yall believe because you see  it all on TV.. reality TV tell women that we will rather see yall drag each other to make a quick buck.  Do I really need to name the shows… come on now you probably watching one of them right now ! I’m not going to lie to you sis I am guilty as charge. I keep up with the shows too. Women against women sells! However, in all honestly I am over it! I am over seeing women fighting each over men. Or women not rooting for one another because of their own insecurities. I simply over the jealously, and unhealthy competitiveness . Please do not get caught up in that nonsense.   We need to stand up for our sis. Have her back !  Be a true friend because it is hard out here trying to navigate these waters,  we need all the help we can get. So I teamed up with my favorite blogger and friend , Leah V  to express the importance of female friendship/camaraderie and female empowerment  with African inspired prints! We got some work to do, so lets start at the foundation .

What is female camaraderie ?

It is really another word for friendship!. Closeness and loyalty shared among a group of women. Yes ladies we need some loyalty,closeness and respect! I believe female camaraderie is an understanding between woman. That we all can come to the table and have respect for one another. Be able to deal with our differences, empathize, and empower one another.  That would be an outstanding girl code.  Friendship and kinship can never be replace and I believe that camaraderie is the foundation.
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Ways to Promote Female Camaraderie Wherever, Whenever, However !

Jealously needs to go! I know women have a tendency to compare themselves to next woman.  Guilty as charge: I have don’t it. Let be clear even the strongest woman in the room has doubt. It plaques us all but we need to be vigilante when we are doing this to ourselves. Jealous definitely taints our perspective. So with that being said we need stop the comparing and embrace what makes you.. you!  Build up your self esteem, set your goals, have tunnel vision, and celebrate your wins.

I need your support Another way to build female camaraderie is to support one another. Show up for your girl when she launching and brand. Hold her up when she is going through it. We need to support one another.

Something got ahold of you, Its the Past! Grudges between women can linger for along time. When women have a confrontation it really hard to repair those relationships. I believe in order to get past all the mess that we need to let go of what happen in the past. I really want women to try to find some common ground and some mutual respect.

Respect goes a long way With all that being said we have to have respect for one another. No matter how different we are we still have to respect and try to empathize with one another. It simple as that!

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Camaraderie is Important.

Simply having her back, being honest without the confrontation. “Were all in this together” mentality. I want women to win so I believe camaraderie is important because of the support/ console, mutual respect for one another, and identity. If we as women can create a solid foundation to stand on, the door can open for us all to have a seat at the table and have a conversation and try to figure it all out.  Respect goes a long way so lets put the right foot forward .

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Behind every successful woman is tribe of other successful women who have her back.

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A few of my favorite pictures from the shoot !

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Location: Midtown Detroit & Downtown Detroit (Cadillac Square)

Model: Leah Vernon- The creator of the Beauty and the Muse

Photographer: Nicole & Daniela Photography | Website: NicoleDanielaPhoto.com | IG: @Danielalisi & @Nicolegafa

i believe that camaraderie between unrelated women can win. what do you think ? 

let me know your thoughts below in the comments 

push forward.

cassandra

 

DROPPIN’ GEMS: Doubt Kills Dreams

DROPPIN’ GEMS: Doubt Kills Dreams

Have you heard the phrase… “Doubt kills more dream than failure ever will” ? Yeah I came across this quote on Pinterest and it really got me thinking about self doubt and how easy we can fall to it. Doubt can make you lack confidence in your abilities to accomplish something.  It hold you back from doing great things.  We all were given potential to do something great with our lives. However we still doubt ourselves.

Why do you doubt ourselves in the first place ?

  1. Fear that we can’t sustain.
  2. Habitual doubter – It’s habit – sidenote: it take 21 days to break a habit.
  3. We lack the skills or the experiences
  4. Not putting the past behind us
  5. We believe what others day
  6. Surround by people who doubt themselves
  7. Comfort Zone/ Complacent

All these things can make you doubt yourself. Doubt your potential and then it can kill your dream ! So listen we do not have time for the dream killing or the dream killers. Doubt definitely kills dreams more than failure. Doubt will have you thinking all negative thought on why something can not happen for you. Listen: Believe in yourself… Im going to say it again. Believe in yourself. You can do anything that you put your mind. That might sound cliche but it the truth.

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How do we stop doubting ourselves

  1. Stay inspired: No matter if you truly believe in what your doing you have to have that little push to keep us going. So do what you have to do to keep you inspire to keep going. Literally it inspiration everywhere you just need to receptive to it.
  2. Stop comparing yourself: I think I have said these few times in different post but you have stop comparing yourself to others and what they are doing. I know it hard because you want to be great too. However time has it on agenda for you. You make yourself feel inadequate.
  3. Be aware when you are being your worst critic: I think you are selling yourself short when you over criticized
  4. Postive affirmations: I like to read positive and motivational quotes to keep in the right head space when I am feeling down.

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“Self Doubt is the anchor that keeps our ships from sailing”.

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On the Fashion Tip:

I feel like I am bring a spring denim look to the table. Of course you already know I have an addiction to graphic tees. It just so me ! Denim can be done anyway. This is a simply everyday look. Why did get this WOMAN graphic tees? Simply I got it because I am woman.

Shop My Look:

Plus “Woman” Graphic Tee// Boohoo – LINK

Special Thanks:

JORDVN X RYVN (Jordan), a Detroit Photographer, who took these amazing photos of me. His work is beautiful and he capture the moment so lovely. Thanks again

Instagram: @hecutsa|Facebook: Jordan X RYVN

Location: Royal Oak, Michigan

So my dearest readers and myself believe in yourself and your dream. Doubt kills dream and we don’t have time for it. Your dream matters. So stop doubting yourself and believe in that dream and make it a reality !

push forward. chase the dream.

Alayna