My Body Image Gives Me The Blues Sometimes! How to deal ?

My Body Image Gives Me The Blues Sometimes! How to deal ?

Dealing with body struggles is a tough thing to swallow. It something that everybody has dealt with throughout or some point of their lives. I can really be tough on my body at times. Wishing my stomach was flatter, I wish I didn’t have dimples on my butt, or stretch marks. Wishing my skin was more clearer or my teeth brighter.  All those things that keep me obsessing.

Here come the school stories. I was called “butter ball” in middle school. Also I was the thick girl in high school. Yeah some guys actually called me big mama! Really ! You already know that having meat on your bones was rarely celebrate or in style.  Then I had a bad love triangle thing in college… all the way wrong! So yes the anxiety set in and your trying to do anything and everything to fit in what the world says is normal. Little do you know your now on the road of body image struggles.

Over time I learn to love my body but I don’t love it all time. I can be somewhat critical of myself, and that really gives me the blues something.  How do I deal with my body struggles ?

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The way I looked at my body struggles came from a number of things. Bad breakups, being teased, a lot of negative things that shaped how I feel and see my body. It really hard being a woman trying to find her place in world with it different standards on body image, and beauty. Its hard as hell ! I know a number of us have one or handful things that they want to change about our appearance. So how do we cope with this? How do we not get completly disgusted with our bodies ?

How to Improve Your Body Image ?

  1. Stop being so mean to yourself . We can be our worst critic! Have you noticed that you can list the negative things faster than the positive things. So listen and become more aware to what you are saying to yourself. Remember that no one on this earth is perfect . So if you see yourself being negative… Stop it ! Say I am “fine as hell”! I say  lol that but really give yourself a positive compliment !
  2. Learn and accept your body. I learn to love my body when I started my blog. I become a blogger specifically to improve how I seen and felt about my body. Getting in front of the camera. Taking risk with certain outfit really change how I viewed myself. I started taking more pride in myself
  3. Positive affirmations. Every morning I tell myself how much I love me ! Especially in the mirror. Something I stand in front of the mirror naked and I just give myself positive affirmation shower. I shower myself with self love.
  4. List what your love about yourself. I love to think about this. Every once in awhile I have to remind myself because I get the blues. So I listen all the things I love about me. I love my butt, or my smile! Or how funny I am ! All those things matter.
  5. Get a massage!
  6. Nourish your body. Feed your body right. I never claim to be a fitness guru or anything like that. However I notice when I eat right and really nourish my body I feel good. My image on my body is not distorted based off how I feel. When I feel good internally my image of my body looks good too

“Don’t let your mind bully your body”.

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Sis you are worthy!

Self Worth is key to battling  your negative body image. You are worthy!  What is self worth ? Well the way I understand self worth is being deserving of good things. You are worthy of good health, happiness, success, or whatever you see fit to make you happy. In order to do something about how your perceive body you first have to re-evaluate your worth. If you do not tackle this  or understand how worthy you are you will undermine everything step you take to improve your body image. So work at consistently.  I preach this all the time, take time and learn yourself. Ask yourself serious question about you, what make you tick, what you love ? Accept the good,  bad , and the ugly. Self Love. Have compassion and I think you are on the right path in improving your self worth.


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On The Fashion Tip

Omg this look paired with this location just all came together so beautifully.  I chose to do a classic look for the spring time. My views on my body change so much over time, I love showing off my curves and even my stomach. Look at the belly button peeping through lol. I got this whole outfit….. Give you time to guess!! If you a frequent reader you already know how much I love Forever 21. SO yes the whole outfit is from Forever. I decided to do a classic look however it had a few twist. Normal classic look is consider a nice pair plain denim jeans with a button down woven shirt. Classy right ! I had to push to agenda. Yes a blue and white stripped woven shirt  with twisted hem set the outfit off right. I wore this shirt out and I got a lot of compliments on it and really becoming on the belly.  Now the denim. Spring always bring out the classic denim looks however, my denim are always distressed. I love distressed jeans because of  that extra edginess I need to bring to my look. Lastly to keep this look clean, sharpe , and edgy I had to add my all time favorite sneakers into the mix. Low Top White Converse ! This shoe alone can make a lot of outfits complete !

 Check out the links below to get this look in your closet !  

This whole outfit is less than 110 bucks!

Plus Size Blue & White Stripped Woven Twist Hem Shirt//Forever21// Shop |Similar

Plus Size Distressed Skinny Ankle Jeans// Forever21// Shop

White Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Low Top// Journeys// Shop

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With all that being said sis it never to late to change the way you view your body. Your body is unique and it yours so get out of your own way and love on you. Remember you are worthy and that is the key to help arm yourself from your negative views of your body image. You got the tools so work on this daily. I am right with you sis. No more blues !

push forward.

Alayna

 

Location: Belle Isle Park | Detroit, MI

Photographer: Reem Eissa Photography

special shoutout to Reem. she is my new favorite photographer. omg shooting with her is amazing. the location alone was beautiful. i love shooting at the belle isle conservatory because you can get a different look every time.

IG: @reem.eissa.photo

FB:Reem Eissa Photography

 

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We All Have to Hold Ourselves Accountable !

We All Have to Hold Ourselves Accountable !

5 Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable

Accountability: Calling yourself out !

Me: Alayna!

Myself: Huh lol 

Me: Yeah you.. come to the carpet ! We need to talk !

Myself: *sigh* Okay 

Accountability works the other way to you know. You can’t always hold others accountable for what they do… you have start look at yourself and what you do too.

Before I wrote out my goals for March I reflected on the month of February. I noticed that I did not reach any of my personal goals nor was I consistent on my blog. I was thinking and I was coming up with some many excuses as to why I did not achieve my goals or work on my blog enough ! None of it was making sense. As I was pointing  fingers at other things in regards to why I was not being consistent on my blog or reaching my goals… I had three fingers point back at me. It was on me !  I let myself down, I was being lazy, I was not using my time wisely . It was all on me! I had to hold myself accountable for  my actions and choices. Tough pill to swallow right . I realize that it time to take myself serious ! Stop sabotaging myself! I was the reason why my growth was stalling.

think late show GIF by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Credit: Giphy: The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

GETTING IN MY OWN WAY ! UMMM WELL IT TIME TO GET IT TOGETHER!

What does the phrase mean “holding yourself accountable” ?

Accountability alone is about holding something responsible. Personal responsibility is holding yourself responsible- not someone else.  I am learning that once you become more aware of yourself, and holding yourself accountable that you will  improve dramatically. So be proactive! You have to change your mindset! If you want something you have to go out there and get it. So if you want to flourish in life, start holding yourself accountable for what you do and say. Be more aware of your actions, responsibilities, and goals. (Those are three ways to hold yourself accountable) I have a understanding if I do this I will see a big improvement in my personal life, and professional life.

5 Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable

  1. Be in the right mindset:  I think if you want to hold yourself accountable that you need to be in a positive state of mind. I like creating goals after reading a book that put me in a good mood. So if I feel inspire then I feel compel to create and  do !
  2. Create a to-do list and honor it !: To hold yourself accountable you have to be a little organize. I prefer to create a to do list! The list has to be on me at all times and I have to actively cross things off. So yes write your goals, or what you want to accomplish on some paper.  Make it accessible and honer that list. Cross things off that accomplish.  Sidenote:  Do not start anything new until you knock the things you want to accomplish first!
  3. Spend your time wisely: Make sure you are using all your time dedicated to what you need to do ! Example: I lose out on  time because I am literally scrolling on Instagram. That could be time I am using to write out my blog post for the next day.  Oh man ! Yes you have become more aware of how you are using your time sis! Make it all count.
  4. Have a person that hold you accountable: Get you a buddy (real friend) that will help hold yourself  accountable. A friend that will make you aware of your actions, and what you are doing. Everybody has that one friend that wants to see them grow, so put them to use !
  5. Stop putting things off: A lot of times I put things off because I am scared. Scared of the outcome ! Fear is a b word. If something that you want to do set some goals and do it ! We all gotta do the work! There are no shortcuts in success !
late night lol GIF by The Rundown with Robin Thede
Credit: Giphy The Rundown with Robin Thede

Go out and be great ! Pull yourself on the carpet and hold your self accountable for your actions and choices, what your responsible for, and your personal goals. I want use to grow sis.

SIDENOTE: The fashion is coming yall !!! I have a couple photoshoots plan and done ! So keep rocking with me!

push foward

Alayna

 

The Truth Will Set You Free

The Truth Will Set You Free

Living your truth

What does the phrase living your truth mean ? Are you who you say your are.? Are you you being your authentic self.

Question is who are you before the world told you who to be ?

Living your truth is being your most authentic self in my opinion… that what it means to me. I think it is important to live your truth because who really wants to spend there lives trapped by living up to expectations and definitions. I know we have done it at  some part of our life.  We have lied about who we are and over it time it gets really really easy. Until you wake one day and feel really incomplete ! Or we always seeking validation from others. I say it time to strip down and bare it all.  However it hard and scary !

The Struggle:

As a nation I think we have push the envelop to far. We so desperately want to liked… no way do want to stand out due to fear. Fear that we have seen from our peer that show the world their true selves.  It not always peaches & cream. If our world can judge people just based of color alone then what else can we use to judge one another.

Yes it is struggle being your true authentic self. I know for it really hard because I built up this life because I wanted to be liked and respected by other. Over the years I learn that not everyone is going to like you. So never seek validation for other people.  Stop taking everything so personal .You have to learn to love yourself unconditionally. Be yourself ! No let me tell you I do not have it all together. I struggle with this everyday ! I am me that all I can be at the end

So I ask who where you before the world told you who to be ? Do you feel complete? Do you seek validation ?

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So keys to living your truth is:

1: Accept yourself! You can only change this by accepting all the good and the bad things that make up you.

2: Take it day by day.

3: Sit back and define you truth ! Have some alone time and get in tune with yourself.

4: Once you understand your truth then you live your life free, proud, and out loud !

So remember the long you continue to pretend to be someone else or hide behind the lives we build you will never know if you reach your full potential. Oprah said this ! SO let all of your lies, definitions, and expectations slide right off of you and be free

ladylike black girl magic GIF

How you know your living your truth ?

1: You don’t feel the need to seek validation!

2: You feel complete !

3: You know your worth!

4: You do not need to depend on other to make you feel goo !

So this is what I going to work on over the year is being more comfortable with myself. Let it all show and not be afraid to let other see it ! I really hope this helps everyone !

 

Feature Photo : Photographer: Reem Eissa Photography

IG: @reem.eissa.photo

FB:Reem Eissa Photography

Check Please ! How I style my Gingham Pants ?

Check Please ! How I style my Gingham Pants ?

Yes, the spring time is among us and I here for the warm up ! So yes let start off with some prints and bold colors.

My first pair of gingham pants and I love them.  Gingham pants give off  kinda a preppy look ! In the magazine the prep look is really in style for the spring ! It can be dressed up or down and  definitely consider a classic look. You can pair it with a graphic tee, pop of color, bright sweater, another print! I decided to pair my gingham pants with a bold color! I get a lot of love when it comes to mustard yellow ! So yellow it is ! As soon as I saw these pants at Forever 21 I knew I had to have them. Its something different, and outside of my comfort zone. So sis go out and get you some gingham pants and style them up !

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Why yellow is apart of my daily wardrobe?

So I was looking through all my Instagram pictures and notice I have a real life relationship with yellow. I find some way to incorporate yellow in my daily fits ! I enjoy yellow because I love how it looks on my skin! It adds a glow and I get a lot of love for you guys when I do !

“HOW WONDERFUL YELLOW IS. IT STANDS FOR THE SUN.”

-VINCENT VAN GOGH

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Plus size Gingham Ankle Pants// Forever21 – (LINK)

Off-The-Shoulder Skimmer Shirt// Charlotte Russe – (LINK)

location: Detroit, Mi

Photographer: My Mom 🙂

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS POST !

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have a fantastic day.

Alayna