Single Life Series: 6 Things You Need To Know, If You Don’t Like Being Single

Single Life Series: 6 Things You Need To Know, If You Don’t Like Being Single

How did we get here? How did being single person turn inside outside.  I am trying to figure it out. Our society put so much emphasis on being in relationship, and finding that special person. It know it has a single person, like myself, dreading it. Some days I day dream being a happy, healthy relationship with a man. Then I come back to reality and I wonder what is going on, why is it taking me so long to find that person. Am I unlovable?

Single Life = Negative opinions and thoughts on the single life. How can we change the narrative of being single?  So I started searching and results I found on being single was compelling. Here are six ways that can turn your unhappy thoughts on being single to hopeful, and positive thoughts.

  1. Your circumstances will change. I have been single since my senior year of high school. That mean I have been single for 11 years. Real facts! So understand this, it is going to happen for us. We are going to meet that special someone. You need to remain positive and get out of your own head and way and let the universe work.
  2. Your worthy so keep your standards high. Please people keep your standards high when your single, or whenever. Now I am not saying to keep them so high no one can reach them. One thing that I learn as a single person is that you can not let your loneliness cloud your judgement. So many people date and settle for the wrong people because they are lonely. I’ve done it. So you have to ask yourself why do you hate being alone? Once you figure that out your mindset should start to shift. You will start saying to yourself they are stupid if they don’t want to be around me. Don’t chase anyone. Remember you are the sh*t and anyone that wants to be around you will. So DO NOT settle for anything just because you are afraid of being alone.
  3. Time to get to know & work on yourself. While your single you are given time to get to know yourself. I built a blog, and have tons of things with my life. So now I do not have time to cry over spilled milk. I have respect, love, and value for myself while being single. I ultimatly think this time that GOD has given to me to get loser with myself and make me right for the special someone that he is taking time to make for me. If you are single this is not a time to draw away from yourself, it is time to get closer and self discovery.
  4. Understand that patiences is key. Remember I told you, I have been single for 11 years. Small bumps on the road but hey, I don’t claim them because they only last for 2 months or less. Getting to that right person take a while, but understand that Beyonce was not successful star over night. She worked for year and took time to perfect her craft. So that special person, it make themselves right just for you… they don’t know that. Be patient… that special person will come soon.
  5. Love yourself the way you want your partner to treat you. Self love people! How do you expect someone to love you if you can’t love yourself. Treat yourself kind and with respect first. Be that model so your partner will know. Self love is key, I can’t stress that enough.
  6. Enjoy your own company. Learn to enjoy being around yourself. This was something I really had to work on getting comfortable. For a long time I hate being by myself.

Single Tip…
STOP thinking YOU are unlovable and you’ll never will be married. Here’s the TRUTH about YOU! YOU are SO amazing it took extra time to create your mate. Relax! Trust God’s timing! He hasn’t forgotten you. He just wasn’t ready to share you yet !

Feature Photo: Photographer: Richelle Marie Photography  IG: @richellemariephoto


So, how are you feeling about being single? 

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog.  I hope this blog post can help you change your mindset and find value in being single. I know these tips have help me of the course of time. I found self love and make time everyday to work on myself. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all!

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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cassandra

Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

Single Life Series: Things I Learned About Self While Being Single

First and foremost, my love life is not remotely interesting. Simply I have been engulf in a see of prospect than turns into to f**k boys. I am no good when it comes to relationships. Frankly, being single sucks at time. I really feel this way when the romantic season approaches.  Valentines is next week.  I already know my timeline is going to jumping, fill of relationship goals hash-tagging , and gifts. Everybody acting really happy on this commercial holiday.  Sometimes, you can’t help but dread being single.  Man, they all make it look so good to be in a relationship. I am saying to myself, “really I want that”.  To be honest, I am starting feel like I will never find that special guy.

Let me keep it all the way 100: I really want to be in relationship with a guy that really cares about me and I care about him. But it is so hard to date now. Man, some of  y’all dudes have been giving me gas! Lol I over it and I am not settling anymore.  Since I have been single I have learned tons of things. What I want and need.  Self love. Knowing what I will not accept. In this post we are going to explore how being single really helped me learn a lot about myself. Hopefully this post can helps us change our perspective on being single.

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Face you make when he says you look pretty for big girl….
  1. Just because it does not work out with someone, does not mean you are a bad person. I have a lot of fall attempts when in comes to being in relationship. They use to leave me asking “what wrong with me”. I had one guy that I was super interested in and it seem like I was always chasing him. I could never get a hold of him. I was wondering if it was something wrong me.  Did I do something wrong? Of course my anxiety was speaking to me loudly saying you should have done this or said less of this. I learn over the course of being single that it is nothing wrong me and I had nothing to do with the reason why he went away. I am just enough. I do not need to do more or less. Any guy that wants me will want to continue to get to know me
  2. No means no! I learn to stand up for myself finally especially to guys.  I know exactly what will not stand.  I finally have set some standard in place
  3. Girlfriends are life savers. Being single you learn that having a good friends in your corner keep you from doing stupid things. I learn so much more about myself when I have discussion with my closest girlfriends. I think I will be a better person for that special someone when the time is right.
  4. Online dating sucks. This is no shade to anyone that enjoy online dating, or who have found their partner online. My experience with it has suck eggs. I felt like everyone on there, that are interested in me, only wants to hook up. Then people lost interest so fast. I rather meet people in person.
  5. Self Discovery- I know what I want.  I have a lot more time to learn myself and work on myself. What I am passionate about?  What I want I want and need? What I wont accept? I value myself so much more, and the way I treat myself will show the my next guy how to treat me
  6. Don’t keep people around just because your lonely- No settling.  I have settle in some trash ass relationship just to spare myself from being lonely. In my opinion, this is when I made some terrible mistakes. Don’t let loneliness cloud your judgement.  Please do not make the mistake for settling for someone that you know deep down they are not right for you. I gave myself time to work on self for that right person.
  7. I suck at communication. I am not good at communication. I blame it on my anxiety. Over thinking and not asking enough questions. Over the time of being single I learned that I need to get better at communication my thoughts.
  8. I am sexy. I don’t not need a man’s validation. When I was younger, the only way I felt beautiful was from a guy telling me I was pretty. Even then it was half ass. Your pretty for a dark skin girl  or pretty for a big girl… WHAT !? The only validation I need is my own. I learned to love & appreciate myself more while being single.
  9. My life does not begin when I find the right person. My life is great right now, it does not start when a man enter it. My life is full for fun, creativity, and great friends and family fill it up. God made me special all on my own. My life will still continue with our without a man present in it.
  10. Maintaining a Relationship is hard. Social media can really trick you out here. Everyone relationship on line looks so good, they only show you want they want you to see. Behind the mask it is hard work and it not always peaches and cream. Being on my own is way easier than being a relationship.

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Special Thanks to  Nicole & Daniela Photography!  They always come through for me!

IG: @nicole_daniela_studio | Website: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com


With that being said, being single is not all that bad. Stay tuned. We are going to dive in deeper on the next post in “Single Life Series”.

What are you thoughts on being single ? What have your learn as a single person?

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all!

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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Chapter 2… February Goals

Chapter 2… February Goals

I know I know… February is when you are going to start fresh?! Right?! I have been seeing this meme going around social media where a lot of people are claiming to start there New Years in February.  I guess January was tough. Hmmm, I know for myself January was kinda hard sis. However, I am so thankful for all the goals I was able to cross off my list. All the doors that open up for me. Another birthday I was able to see and celebrate. I made it through, here we are now at the month love. Wow time really has gone by so fast.

February I have a lot to look forward to. It is the first day of BLACK HISTORY MONTH!  To be frank, Black history is celebrated every day. It is a special month because it is a time to acknowledge the history, excellence, and enjoy how far we have come.

On top of celebrating I find it is very important to remember self. I know for me a get a little down in because I am a single woman. Can I not celebrate valentines because I’m single? So, a little self love and self care goes a long way. I try to find ways to keep my spirits up. Of course Valentines Day is right around the corner and I dread seeing all the post on social media. I guess I can share my thoughts on love on the new podcast! Yes I said podcast!! I am thrilled to announce the brand new ”The Gals Club” Podcast ! I am one out four co-host! IMPORTANT: The first episode will premiere on Feb 7th at 7 pm, every Thursday, every week! Going LIVE on Anueyoumedia.com. Also download the SMD Live app to listen as well. Will be up on the Apple Podcast app soon!

Fashion Note

New York Fashion Week is on its way, and I cannot wait to see all the new things that are coming to the runway. (Feb 8- Feb16th) Already the magazines are giving us the inside scoop on Spring fashion. According to February’s issue of Harper’s Bazaar & InStyle magazines that studded bags, ruffles, plaids, neutrals, dark floral prints, etc. I also noticed that acid wash denim might be making a come back! Yess ! If you want me to create a spring fashion cheat sheet, let me know in the comment section!

This years spring/ summer colors, according to Pantone,  different hues of beige, navy, and browns. Neutral shades are definitely in for this spring season. On the colorful side of things neon colors, marigold. magenta, orange, & cobalt blue. You can also get away with pastel colors. Textiles and patterns: Crochet, fishnet, tie dye print, and artisan pieces. The trend that I am loving is animal print. Snakeskin is on my to do fashion list!

I am super excited this month to step outside my comfort zone a bit. Since love is going to all through the air it is only right that I play with some reds, and pinks in my wardrobe. Lastly what has been my go too in my wardrobe has been blazers! I must say the blazers are the power player last month! Keep a watch out for my Instagram… a few of best blazers are going to be making preview or two.

Blog Note

During this month I want to talk about being single coming from a single person perspective. Ha We are going to dive into my love life, and fish through my thoughts. So all next week is for the single folks! Those that are in relationships, of course, Y’all can read it too! We don’t discriminate here. I can’t forget about fashion. I know a few of my readers are going to be doing some special things for valentines day. You I am going to help y’all out… Showing Y’all how to dress for any occasion, up or down. I plan to take myself out, so yeah I am getting dressed up for it! Hmm, feel like a beauty post is coming too! Definitely, planning on patronizing a few black own businesses in the process.

I currently don’t have any brand partnerships or collaboration at the moment. So I have a lot of great content coming to the blog. So stay tuned. Also don’t hesitate to follow me on Instagram and Facebook. I make a lot of great announcement on my social media platforms.

Personal Note/ Goals

I made a lot of changes for the better of self in January. I am keeping the same energy from January and bring it with me this month.

  1. Drink more water
  2. Eat more fruits and vegetables
  3. Save money for airfare for NYC trip
  4. Pay off my dentist bill & my mother back
  5. Continue to keep going with my blogging plans & stay organize
  6. Think positive

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What are you looking forward to in February?

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all!

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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Turning 29: Lessons I Learned in My Twenties

Turning 29: Lessons I Learned in My Twenties

So today is my 29th birthday… I am so thankful to see another birthday.  I have one more year to the BIG 3-0. To be really honest, I am kinda scared of getting older.  Simply I am afraid of the unknown and becoming irrelevant.  I recently was saying this in a previous post, simply discussing my plans as a 29 years old and so forth. To change my thoughts on the fear, I decided it would be best to focus and admire my growth. Growth in life is key. I am not the same girl I use to be, and I am so thankful. Instead of getting hyped up for about premature thoughts on getting older…. I am going to embrace my life, my age, and admire my growth! To admire my growth here are 29 things I have learned in my 20s.

  1. You can’t pour from an empty glass: I learned in order to be my best self, I have to make sure I take time to take care of myself. While working and blogging I learn that I had to invest more time for self and mental care. So every day now I take 10 minutes or more for me.
  2. Love Yourself! It’s really hard but it is necessary. Tell myself every day that I love myself. I learned to be honest with myself.
  3. Holding myself accountable:  You have to pull yourself on the carpet sometimes.
  4. Embrace Failure: Failure is apart of life and if you are truly passionate about something don’t stop just because you failed. Try again and do better with what you know now.
  5. “Listen” first:  Listen before you react!
  6. Know that God has you at all time: Simple as that! Don’t ever doubt that.
  7. One person opinion is not the gospel: Their opinion is their opinion. They are allowed to think freely. It doesn’t mean it is warranted.
  8. Everything does not require a reaction: I learned to be precious with my energy.
  9. Never stop dreaming – no matter your age: Dreaming does not have an age limit.
  10. Small Steps = Big Changes
  11. Everyone’s feelings matter: It is not all about you and your feelings.
  12. Saving money is important. The earlier you start the better
  13. You are enough: Simple as that. I am enough and I do not need to do anything more. I am great the way GOD made me.
  14. Invest in experiences: I learn that traveling is self care. So instead of feeling up my world with materials thing… invest in the traveling experiences
  15. Negative people don’t have room at your table: I have no more patience for toxic people. So I removed myself and distance myself from people that do not mean me well.
  16. Believe in yourself:  I learn to take myself more seriously. You have to believe in yourself.
  17. Maintaining any relationships requires both parties involved: Friendships, Relationships… Whatever it is should not be one side. Everyone has to bring something to the table.
  18. Eliminate credit card debit
  19. Comparison is the thief of joy: This is the truth. Stay in your lane and don’t worry about what someone else is doing. I have to tell myself this so many times over the course of my twenties. You can’t compare apples to oranges.
  20. Practice Gratitude every day: Be thankful for everything. Big or small, Good or bad.
  21. You do not have to tolerate everything just to say you have someone: Leave the f-boys alone. I learn that you do not have to put up with anything just to keep some one in your life. Especially the f-boys. Let them go and flourish
  22. You do not have to be alone: Being alone is a choice in my opinion. I don’t have to be alone if I do not want to.
  23. Who you know get you through the door faster than what you know
  24. If the world says no go through the back door: Do not take no as the final answer.
  25. Skincare over makeup: To have flawless makeup you have to start with a skin care routine. Do not sleep with your makeup!
  26. Stand for something fall for anything
  27. Eat the right food to feel good for the inside out
  28. Learn to let go: You have to make amends with your past. I learn that I cannot let my past mistakes dictate me. Let them go and let it flow!
  29. Embrace your family -look past there flaws: I have a lot of resentment when it comes to some of my family members. They have hurt me so in past I found it hard to let go of that hurt. Family members are humans. They are not perfect so forgive them and look past the flaws and embrace them.

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Photographer: Daniela Lisi & Nicole Gafa – Nicole & Daniela Photography |IG: @nicole_daniela_studio or @nicole_daniela_photo |

DWebsite: www.NicoleDanielaPhoto.com


Share with me a lesson you learn in you 20s 

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

push forward.

cassandra