How To Stop Taking Things Personally? |For the Highly Sensitive Person

How To Stop Taking Things Personally? |For the Highly Sensitive Person

Most people know that I am highly sensitive/empath.  So you would not be surprise that I often take things PERSONALLY , even the small things.  Let me tell you I dealt with some triggering stuff and took it straight to heart. How can I stop taking things so personally?

Those that have strong personalities can make me feel bad in an instant. Sometimes I misread into a joke and take it as an insults.  A simple critique can make me feel worthless. I rush to conclusions and the next thing I know I am a sobbing mess. I am highly sensitive and those that are highly sensitive process information very deeply and intensely. If you want to hear more about me being a highly sensitive person click here. Know this words really matter to us. This is a part of me however over the years I  have been working with my emotional response and how I process information.

sad pauly d GIF by A Double Shot At Love With DJ Pauly D and Vinny
Source: Giphy

Taking things personally is often times left me emotionally drained and constantly seeking out  for reassurance. Does this sound like you? Do you take things personally? On today’s blog post I am going to being sharing a few tips on how now to take things so personally!

(Disclaimer: Please understand this is coming from my very own perspective. I am not an expert, however I am just sharing a few tips that I learn over the years. )

  • Stop Worrying About What Others Think: You can not control how others think. PERIOD! Also take this note with you: One person opinions should not stop your growth. Value and care about your own opinion of yourself and that should stop your worrying.
frustrated nicole beharie GIF
Source: Giphy
  • Get to the root of your reaction: Writing out your feelings. Dump them all out on paper can help you under what is going on and your feelings better. Ask yourself “Why do I take things so personally“? Let it all go on the paper
  • Self Confidence/ Know Your Worth: Stop being so judgmental of yourself! Remember who you are and all the things that you are good! You are awesome and don’t let anyone’s opinion reduce/ tear you down.
zazie beetz atlanta GIF
Source: Giphy
  • Don’t jump to conclusion so quickly: Take a step back and reset.  Those that are highly sensitive tend to make small situations into a big drama. Before you reaction take a  few minutes to cool down. In some scenario I take a day to process and come back to the table. That time allows me to talk to my mom or others that are not so emotionally as me.
    • Try not to follow the “knee jerk” reaction: Before you reach take a step back and reset. Try not to lead with your first reaction: which often times is defense, crying, anger… emotional mess. Remember you are in control of your self and your emotions. Try to come from a place of understanding.
Just Breathe GIF by chescaleigh
Source: Giphy
  • Speak up or ask for clarifications: As a highly sensitive person, I have the tendency to make up a whole drama in my head just off how someone respond to me, differently. For example, my friends my be happy one day and totally respond to me differently the next day. I automatically ask, in my head, “Did I do something wrong?”  So that leads me to say, get comfortable and speak up. If you feel negatively about something try and gain some clarification on the situation at hand. Remember to come from a place of caring and understand, not accusing !
  • Understand that everyone has triggers too: People react based off their own experiences.  Note: Everything is not always about you, personally. We all get triggers by something that can make us reaction in a certain way.

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”

  • LET IT GO! When you have taken all these thing into consideration… please breathe and let it go.
letitia wright black girl magic GIF by Republic Records
Source: Giphy

Do you take things personally? Why? If so, how do you cope with taking things personally?

Share with me in the comment section. Let’s talk sis! Let me know your thoughts on taking things personally!

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, and comment. Please make sure you subscribe to my newsletter. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

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Chapter 6…. June Plan and Goals

Chapter 6…. June Plan and Goals

First day of June. I feel so good this morning. Summer is loading. I have so many things to look forward to this month and I am excited to share them with you. May was a great month. My eyes open and I got hip to a lot of things.  I am so grateful for May. Now we are walking through the month June. So on today’s post I will be sharing my personal goals,  what is coming to FashionLayn, and a brief fashion report

Fashion Note

Finally the weather is consistent. In Detroit, the weather for the last couple of days has been sunny, with rain showers. It has been 75 degrees or lower, I know how to dress that. I am so happy I am able to ditch my little jacket and be free. “Less is more”, my motto for the summer when it comes to styling

FASHION REPORT:  Beachy , and bohemian theme, patterns, and prints is something you can still explore this summer. Natural patterns, fishnet and crochet look can also migrate into this summers look as well . According to June’s issue of InStyle Magazine tie-dye is still a big hit. A Tie-dye shirts is one on those inexpensive trends that you can pull off with any look. When you think of summer, I know island vibes comes to mind. Bold in color floral tops, tie dye, flowing skirts , or tie up skirts are all pieces you can try if you want to explore an island look.  Lastly, what has been showing up on the red carpet and other celebrity events are two-toned snakeskins. Leopard print is not the look, there is a new king of jungle and it is snakeskin. You can try out the snakeskin with a dress, pencil skirt, or a suit. Also long cascades of pleats are giving us a romantic vibe.

Last month I join in a swimsuit challenge called #JustWearTheSuit, if you want to read click here. Anyway, it took me 14 years to get to comfortable point to wear a swimsuit. So, with that being said make sure you get a nice swimsuit for the summer. If you to see inexpensive swimsuits for  different body types,  let me know in the comment section. So yes, there is so much fashion other things to look forward to coming to the blog!

Blog Note

I have a lot of new content brewing for this month. I feel the same way as I felt last month. My hard work, consistency, and dedication is paying off. I know it not always about the numbers but I see a nice growth in my blog and I am so thankful for it. Remember to all my content creator… Never stop reaching out to brands and pitching. “Close mouths don’t get fed”. I still pitch 2 to 3 brands each month. I have a few sponsored post coming to my blog and socials and I will share that as soon as a can. So stay tuned! Please subscribe to my newsletter to keep up with everything that is coming to FashionLayn

Personal Note

My personal wellness has definitely been on my mind, in a good way. My team lead told me at work that I need to take at least two 15 minute breaks without my phone. Find a spot and just be in that moment. Last Thursday, I was so overwhelmed with information and commotion that I almost had a small breakdown. My anxiety was on my head. That when my leader told me I should get away from my desk. Since it warmer now I can do just that and people watch.  The same day of my fresco, I came across this 30 day Soul Reset Challenge.  This detox require you  drink water, mediate/ exercise for 15 minutes a day,  get 7 hours of sleep, and nightly journaling. It started today and I  already failed at not looking at my phone the first hour of day. That’s okay, it takes 21 days to form a habit.  I think this just what I need and hope I able to apply this in July. Anyway,I learn that it is okay to just walk away from your desk and be present in that moment. This month I going to focus on cleaninsing my mind, body, and soul. Here are my personal goals this month:

  1. Complete each task in the Soul Reset Challenge.
  2. Drink 64 oz of water every day
  3. Pitch 2 to 3 brands each month
  4. Get comfortable with saying no
  5. Take 10-20 minutes just for myself only. No blog, No social media, just me !
  6. Finishing up my secret project. Will share in July!


Location: Detroit Michigan

Photographer: FashionLayn/ Me, Myself & I/ Alayna

What are you looking forward to in June? What are your plans and wellness goals this month?

Share with me in the comment section. Let’s talk sis

Thank you so much for reading my and don’t hesitate to like, and comment. Please make sure you subscribe to my newsletter. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

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STORY TIME|First Time Wearing A Swimsuit in 14 Years | #JustWearTheSuit

STORY TIME|First Time Wearing A Swimsuit in 14 Years | #JustWearTheSuit

#JustWearTheSuit is a hashtag created by Caryl, a body positive blogger of Lipgloss and Crayons. She built a community around a hashtag to encourage everyBODY to get into their swimsuits and celebrate body image and journey.   And boy do I have journey to share y’all

So, I was introduced to #JustWearTheSuit hashtag by a fellow blogger I met at a fashion show, Kendall Rayburn. She is one of the sweetest people to come across. I told her haven’t worn a swimsuit in years. 14 years to be exact!! When she told me about it, I had a big knot in the back of my throat. Saying to myself, ”Can I do this…. You already show your body off in underwear.” Hell with it, I need to face my body insecurities head on and just do it.

Yeahhh, so I finally wore a swimsuit, OKAY! After a long extending period without wearing a swimsuit, I got my beautiful body in one. I am so overjoyed that I did it. Shout out to Carly for forming this amazing hashtag while encouraging us to wear a swimsuit. Also, she letting the world know that everyone can wear a swimsuit and look good! See, conquering fear is not so bad.

Smiling in Swimsuit from SHEIN

My Story

The last memory I have of being in swimsuit was probably when I was 14. A teenage girl at the Boys & Girls Club going to Red Oaks water park in Metro Detroit. At that time I did not think of myself as beautiful. I let the world convince me that I was not beautiful. I bought into it and folded on myself! I believe I was too big to wear a swimsuit and nobody would want to see my body. I did not want to see my curves. So that was all she wrote and I completely stop wearing a swimsuit.

As a teenager, I was not confident at all. I was this curvy nerd like black girl from the hood who did not know how to fit in. Growing up, you did not want to be label as anything but cool.  Cool didn’t fit me so I became the funny girl. I would talk down and make fun of myself, before any one else could. I guess you can say it hurt less. Anyway, nothing around me made feel like my body was amazing. Music videos only glorified smaller women. Clothing stores never carried anything that was cute for me.  Nothing I saw represented me. During that time I was having a hard time navigating in world that only saw one standard of beauty. I did not fit that mold, no matter how hard I tried to fit in.  On top of my insecurities I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIM. So I stayed away from water parks! If I couldn’t my love for water parks I would wear boxes and shirts that match. This made me look bigger, and body-less Smh, I can remember my boy boxes falling off in the pool exposing my whole butt to the world.

Sidenote: I never learned how to swim. I took free swimming classes when I was 8. However the classes end right in the middle of me learning, with no explanation. So my rule is, as long as my feet can touch the bottom of the pool I am good. SMH 

Anyway it has taking me a long time to get to this point in my life.  14 years and I got my beautiful curvy/ fluffy body in swimsuit. I can say it loudly that I GOT A BANGING BODY! OKAY!! I am showing off and wearing a halter top high waisted bikini from SHEIN. Even adding a bold color like red to make the experience more gratifying for me.  Whew I am doing it sis. It took a lot of hard work and SELF LOVE.  Honestly, I had to get over myself and stop listening to the world. Now, it was not all me! It people like Carly who creates hashtag to encourage! Or Sasha from Flaws of Couture to push to wear swimsuit all summer long! The world doesn’t have a clue what is best for us. THERE IS NOT ONE STANDARD OF BEAUTY. I learn that everyone is beautiful in there own way.  No more trying to fit. Stand out and pave your own lane. We should not tell people what is beautiful and what is not. I became a fashion blogger to embrace my body. My curves are fire okay!

“Life is too short to spend another day at war with yourself.”

-Rita Ghatowey

So like the hashtag says JUST WEAR THE SUIT. We are beautiful just the way we was made. Don’t let anything stop you from being happy and enjoying life. So I encourage you take the swimsuit challenge. Make sure you use the hashtag #JustWearTheSuit. Make sure you check the hashtag and see the other ladies in their suits too! SWIMSUIT all summer long sis! LEAD WITH CONFIDENCES !!!

Face of Pure Joy

Location: At Home

Photographer: Me, Myself, and I

 Do you say swimsuit or bathing suit? Were you every afraid to put on swimsuit? If so, why were you afraid? Have you conquer your fear? 

Share with me in the comment section. Let’s talk sis

Thank you so much for reading my and don’t hesitate to like, and comment. Please make sure you subscribe to my newsletter. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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Dealing With My Scars in True & Co Intimate Apparel

Dealing With My Scars in True & Co Intimate Apparel

This post was done in collaboration with True & Co – but trust, all opinions are my own. #truebody #togetherwearetrue #sponsored

What is something you are insecure about? We all are insecure about something. I have tons of insecurities. Speaking of insecurities, my biggest one has to be my skin.  On the blog today I will be share my painful story about my skin how I am dealing with it as an adult. What so special about this post is that I am collaborating with with True&Co,  an intimate apparel brand.  Their focus is to help women feel comfortable in their skin. Certainly got me out of my comfort zone and made me feel comfortable in my skin. As a grown woman now I learning to walk and be proud in my skin.  I am showing off my resilience and endurance.

My skin trouble started as a little girl. I can remember it being a total problem when I started going to school and summer camp  My body was riddle with small bumps, scaly skin, and dry patches. I had eczema and my skin was super sensitive to everything. For whatever reason, my eczema would flare up in my inner arms, and behind my legs. Coming of age, I could never wear cute costume jewelry growing up. I could only wear 14kt gold. I would get a huge rash on my neck. Sheesh. I had to constantly carry funny smelling cremes and shea butter to counteract the itch.  Living with skin like mine was a constant battle. I can still remember crying telling my mom about how kids use to tease me about my skin. I will never forget at summer camp, this girl was afraid to sit next to me on the bus. She was pointing at my arms in disgust.  “Is that contagious” she said loudly. At that moment I was hurt and embarrass. Why me?

Featuring the True Body Lift V Neck Racerback Bra in Bronzed | Size: XL

Now I am grown up and I don’t have the flare up like I use to as kid.  However I am still reminded by those little circular scares and patches left behind on my body.  I treat my scars with raw shea butter, coco butter, and self love. To learn other ways to conquer body insecurities, check out this post. Shea butter smooths my skin while the coco butter helps with scaring and hyerpigmentation. If I have a break out my cream is my right hand sis. My scars are me and I refuse to look at them negatively. I am in love with my #truebody

So I teamed up with True&Co and force myself yet again to get in from of the camera bare it all. I am featuring the seamless bras in  and panties from their True Body Collection.  These products claims to be invisible under the clothes and to give you a nice lift.  Let me just say I have never worn a bra and panty set that was sooo comfortable.  The bras gave my girls a nice life while giving me just enough padding. The padding was easy to remove and easy to adjust.

I was sent the True Body Life V Neck Racerback Bra, True Body Scoop Neck Bra, and 2  True Body Hipster in the shades bronzed and mink in size XL. First, I love that they had different colors other than “traditional nudes”. They had shades that compliment different skin tones and complexions  Secondly, they were super seamless.  The bras and panty from True Body Collection will have you believing you have nothing own under your clothes.  Lastly, I love how stylish the bras were. My favorite has to be the V Neck Racerback bra in bronzed. I can really get away with wearing this out in public in the summer time. That is how cute it is!!

The True Body Bras retail from $44 – $58 and size ranges extend to 42DDD/F. In addition True Underwear start at $16 and size ranges XL. NOTE: I do think they need to extend there sizes True Body Underwear. Anyway, I do see myself ordering other bras and set from this collection. It is just that comfortable, OKAY !!

Featuring the True Body Scoop Neck Bra and Tre Body Hipters in the shade Mink  | Size XL

“Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.”


Location: My Home

What is something you are insecure about? Have you overcome it? If so, what did you do to get past it ?

Share with me in the comment section.

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to like, comment and subscribe to my blog. Let me know what you wanna see in the future on the blog ! I am here for y’all! 🙂

Also don’t be stranger on social media. Check me out on Facebook and Instagram

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